Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Trigger- Almost Jumped

iam30113
iam30113
Never have I ever acted on my suicidal thoughts when they pop up. Usually I mull over them and cast them aside. I always avoid cutting when I feel like I really want to end it. Last night was different. I just felt so depressed and tired of the endless black hole sucking everything in. Somehow I was on the top floor of one of the halls on campus, climbing the railing. Luckily someone saw me and grabbed me before I could do it. A part of me wishes she hadn't. She's a friend so she and some of my other friends decided it wasn't a good idea for me to go home so I ended up staying over. Managed to cut though and that helped a little. Now I really want to talk to my tdoc but he's on leave and I'm certain my pdoc will tell me I'm seeking attention again and I'll wanna strangle her. Sigh. I'm really tired of this now. When does it stop?
Community Leaderacuriousfish
acuriousfish
Part of the problem is that if your psychiatrist thinks you are borderline then they probably are linking suicide attempts / cutting etc to attention seeking.

They would probably see it differently if they thought you are bipolar.

Have they offered DBT on the basis of their diagnosis?

Perhaps going with their idea, taking the treatment is the best thing to do? If they are right you are sorted. If they are wrong then they will see it's not working and reconsider their diagnosis.
SensitiveHoboLady
SensitiveHoboLady
iam, it's good to see you. I can't remember...have you started meds? Or was there a hold up because the docs didn't agree with one another and your diagnosis? I don't know anything about borderline. I do feel the meds can help put the 'thoughts' away. I'm sorry your tdoc is on leave...is there anyone to contact while he's away? My docs usually leave a colleague's contact info while they're away...
iam30113
iam30113
To some extent she has suggested it but I'm no longer working with her and my tdoc doesn't think I'm Borderline so... I think I'll ask him about that at my next appt
iam30113
iam30113
@Sensitive, I'm not yet on meds cos they can't agree on what's wrong. My tdoc says he wants to re-evaluate me. I could probably speak to the pdoc in his absence if she's available cos this is sort of one of those extreme cases. I don't trust myself to be alone right now. I actually left from my friend's place, went home to shower and came straight to work because I didn't want to cut anymore or do something worse.
Desigol1979
Desigol1979
Never be afraid to reach out.:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnDm3qr1Knk
iam30113
iam30113
That's so sweet Desi. Thank you.
DoorMAwss
DoorMAwss
iam, I am NO doctor. But to me, you do not spend NEARLY enough time around here, "whining", even though there are a Billion people who would listen to you and sympathize, and pat you on the proverbial emotional shoulder....

That does not strike me as someone who is "attention seeking".


Why in the HECK does your doctor see this? What does she see that causes her to think you are "attention seeking" - AGAIN?


Because based on your behavior here, I do NOT see it.


>:(
iam30113
iam30113
I totally agree, MA. Tdoc and I actually had a lengthy discussion about that and he says he only sees a few traits of Borderline- no attention seeking stuff though. She seems to think I get all hyper around new people and that's some sort of attention seeking behaviour. I might see her today, I need to see someone. No way am I going home like this.
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