Toxic people is like a plague for those of us with this and other illnesses.

If they were removed from out lives, while there is no guarantee of fully getting over the illness, it would make our lives a bit smoother :)

I definitely aggree with your post.
Most of us have toxic loved ones.
Sometimes they don't realize the are being toxic and drain you.
and yes, if they are removed, the higher chances you have to get better.

i definately think my dh would label me as toxic. he has made it very clear to me that i suck the life right out of him. i don't know how to change that, i view him as my rock, without him, the kidlet and my mom, i don't know where i would be right now.

I dunno...at some level you gotta (talking to self!) take responsibility though..for letting someone damaging to you continue to be in your life..like, you make that choice...not in the workplace but with friends, lovers, family.
You could say people who are BP are kinda difficult for people who care about them..unpredictable, the moods, the shadow of suicide etc Self absorbed when depressed blahblah
People who have been 'toxic' as in truly abusive I just shut the door on. Helps!!!!

Oh yes...I don't deny that my illness affects others. No abuse from my most 'toxic person', just seemed so overly controlling and judgemental. I've tried to get away from them frequently over the past few years, but I guess I'm just a sucker for a sad story. Gave that up, I care how people feel but I'm not going to care if it's going to change my life to make it any better.

Thanks everyone.

I have gotten much more stable since leaving my husband a yr ago. He is a rager and controlling and verbally abusive. Also a sex addict. It did make a differnce in me when I left him.

you can't just "give up" some of the toxic people in your life though, that's the thing. My husband was my trigger for a while but he's getting better because he's trying. For those of you that are loved ones trying to help a bp, do loads of research and ask questions here on what triggers us. Me? Sometimes I say back off and don't mean it. Sometimes I do mean it. Im very unpredictable. My husband has learned my tone of voice.( Im very proud of him for that.) Last night I told him during one of my bad nights when I went and locked myself in my room that he might want to check on me until I was asleep. Sometimes when you feel comfy enough you have to voice your thoughts.

I agree Barngirl...sometimes you can't remove yourself from the toxic people. You have to learn to cope.

Is it toxic that I'm surrounded by beepers? The only people I have anything to do with anymore is my Mother, Brother, Sister and kids (my son is dx'd mood disorder). The adults are all dx'd BP. Of course I can't remove myself from them, and I don't view them as toxic...but if they were on any level I would have to learn to cope.

uhhh, Ladies...my point was when they cross a line & are 'truly abusive'...my mother was badly alcoholic & mean & BP....so I didn't see her or speak with her for a few years.
An early BF was terrified I'd cheat on him & ended up beating me, Yes, you can shut people out. More women should walk away from such men.

I removed the toxic people from my life and now I am Med free and peacefull and happy .I think that says a very lot about how distructive toxic people are but,dont just write of a famliy member or loved one.Talk to them let them know how there affecting you ,they might not even know there being a turn off they might sincerly think their helpfull .if once youve adviced them and they keep it up just cut down the time your around them ,when they ask whats wrong.then you can say i already told you but you didnt care to listen and remind them.

even friends and family trying to help - misguided or not - it shows that they care.

all it takes is for us ourselves to tell them why what they are doing/saying may be wrong.

Since they want to help, they'll probably think about what they say with regards to the illness before they say something that could be 'toxic'.
well, that's what happened with my family.


I say any support - even if it is misguided at times - is good.

My husband understands bp to a point and sometimes he's really great to have around and other times he helps trigger episodes. I was already manic the other day and he started saying things and after asking him repeatedly to stop he didn't and I flew into a rage... lets just say, the cops ended up showing up it got that bad.

I have people in my life who are toxic at times...but I can't remove them from my life completely...people are human...not perfect....to expect them to be so is just setting the bar too high....hell, this illness is hard enough to deal with, and they often don't know how to react to us...having said that, those people who can sometimes be toxic can also be the best support...now don't get me wrong, if someone is ALWAYS toxic, yeah, give them the boot!

I agree absolutley. Toxic relationships are like being caged and unable to escape. It may hurt to let that person out of your life (or at least be much less involved), but in the long run you'll live a better life.

My ex wife was very toxic, hence the EX.

Always trying to be the fixer of things she has no idea about.

Since I left, I have been able to focus better on how to take better care of myself.