honey, you don't have to deal with others' problems. It's not up to you. And you are NOT weak because you don't by any means! All you have to do is just take care of yourself. I think it was wonderful that you even tried to go to Spain let alone try to come back on your own to London. I also am agoraphobic and I think you are very brave. You did the best you could and blessings to those who were there for you on your flight back. Just take care of you and keep things simple. One day at a time and give praise to yourself for even the little bit that you did, misty. We all have our setbacks, but we grow from them and that is where the strength lies. I'm proud of you because I see the strength over the faulter. Which is what you did. You faultered, you didn't fall down and that in itslef is inner strength. You will be wiser and stronger for the next time....and yes, I believe there will be a next time. ;)

Thanks nibblet,I am now crying here,your words gave me comfort,xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**HUGS** You are stronger than you know.:)

..n u will be strong again :)) ..Its just we have theses prickley hiccups..
Im still in awe that u done it! Im proud of you :))
Sometimes despite our better nature, we need to use all of our energy on us! Its ok not to be strong for others, Let them help u when u need support.. U can always return the favour some other day!
I know u can do it! U have helped me b4 TY :)) We just get to take turns! xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hey, I heard radio voices too, not since seroquel,

DD glaming it up xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It's hard to not be there for other people when it's what you're used to. I always connected my self-worth with what I was willing to do for other people. Since buying our house my husband and I have not had a moment alone because we're constantly taking people in who need help. It's hard to be strong for yourself and for others, especially when you're battling the BP demon. You are worth a wonderful life, even if you can't just drop everything and fly to Spain. Go easy on yourself, find happiness in what you CAN do and realize that no one can do it all. I believe in you.

I am on seroquel,but took 400mg on the plane and didnt even touch the side,thats why they called for assitance,anyway last time I heard voices and was psycotic ended up in hospital,its really scary I am going backwards,with my bp all on the manic side,xxxxxxxxxxxxx

I have accasionally fallen 'backwards' in my recovery process too, Misty and it IS scary. But it too will pass and you can see how far you have come forward. My last "spell" as I call it was a couple of months ago. I look at it now as a part of my recoavery process. Had'n't had an episode like that in about a year. so I have come a long way....my espisodes were as frequent as a blink of the eye. I too am on Seroquel...the saame amount. But I'm learning grounding tools and coping skills along with taking the meds....they can only help so much. During the spell, my PDOC said it was safe to take up to 600 mgs vs. the 400 mgs I normally take when I think the anxiety and panic are being more of a problem and 'noises'. Especially around "that time of month" when my emotions gets squirrely. Seems to help me...

The voices aren't so much a problem for me as the panic and fear.

For some reason it's easier to make myself believe i'm invisible than try to make myself believe there was never any danger in the first place.

If you are a smooth talker, you can convince yourself of anything if only to calm down.

Yep,you talk so much sense,I was on 600mg,it seems however how much you take you seem to get used to it,so many here are on the depressed side,which I do have,but its the mania that I cant handle,which ever side I suppose its just as bad xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx