I have been off my medication for 3 days so far. I'm taking Lithium ER 450 mg 3 times a day. I stopped them because tomorrow night and Saturday night I will be drinking. So I think it was a smart move? I can't drink on medication, especially one that dehydrates me. I plan on getting back on them after the drinking... Yet I know this is me being manic. Its my friends birthday, I haven't drank in a while and I feel like having fun. I don't want to be the sober one. Thinking about going the rest of my life without drinking stinks. I feel like being on meds for the rest of my life is going to be hard. If i can even do it. My parents pay for my apts and meds, I can't imagine being able to pay all that. If there were some sore of brain surgery for BP, I would probably do it... More so because I am afraid for my future. Keeping a job, meeting a guy that can actually handle my moods, being a good mother when the time is right? I'm in college and I don't know what field to get into because I don't know what I would be able to handle if one day I go off meds. My dream is to be a counselor for troubled teens and start a rape support group for teens because I was never able to find one, but I'm scared that one day If I have a Manic episode or even a depressive episode, I wouldn't want them seeing me like that. Not that this is helping any... Maybe I'm thinking like this because I'm off meds, but 3 days wouldn't make this much of a difference. They weren't even at the right dose anyway :s Well I hope the next 3 days go well.