Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I was just lying in bed trying to sleep but couldn't. I was thinking too much. About death and the misery that is my life. I was thinking of ways to die and imagining doing them. And then I started to think about what my suicide note would say. I thought of my mother, and what I would say to her. Then I started to cry. I have a sense of panic everyday when I think of my life and what it has become and what it will never be. I've been depressed for months now, and I'm thinking I should check myself into an outpatient program at a hospital nearby. I'm starting to scare myself. Anyway, so I got out of bed and decided to come here. I come here when I feel alone. Suicide is not the answer.... right?
Is there someone there with you? If you are really scared then I suggest you go to the hospital and follow your instincts. It is not a good sign that you are thinking about your suicide note in detail. Please get the help you need, you have been suffering too long.
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
Suicide is NOT the answer.
I understand how it feels to be afraid of your thoughts and the places where your mind goes.
If you feel like you may need to be in an outpatient program, there is no shame in going there or calling in for an evaluation. Right now I am in an outpatient program and it has helped tremendously.
Hello grenadine! I'm glad you're here and telling us about this. We all think things like that, but we know that suicide is not the answer. We have good times that far out weight the bad. No matter how bad the feelings get, the good will be better.
Thanks, twilight, for your response. I am going to look into the outpatient program. But I feel like it would be a miracle to get me out of the space I'm in.
Bethany, I hear what you're saying, but there havent been good times in quite a while. And it's all I can think about. Right now the bad times out way the good.