"I really just wanted to share some hope for the hopeless."


Im sorry that your leaving. Im even more sorry that you deem the rest of us to be hopeless...

Dont be so hard on yourself. Nobody expexts you to be SuperWoman.

look i hope ur nt leaving cuz of me i apologized i never attacked u being med free wat i was upset abt was ur idea that i try God well i believe in God and if it were that east id be cured cuz my faith is strong or i wouldnt be here nor do i believe my diet will change my bp nor how much i watch tv but thats my opinion and u have urs i think its how u wrd things like ur above statement i really dont feel hopeless either but wat ever u do peace and best wishes

I don't see you all as hopeless, PLEASE! Good God, I'm trying to reach out to the other people like me. Are there any other peole who would rather die than be on meds on this site? WE EXSIST! I will not be silent and pretend there is an answer when there isn't one for me and countless other BP people. See ya later. Read my journal sometime. I'm not trying to be superwoman, I'm trying to fucking live.

I don't know if it's possible to really feel like you have a place here or not. I don't know how you get friends or what on this site - I just come in and read the discussions and reply to those I feel I have something to add to. I don't take offense at any thing anybody says because we all have a right to our opinions and free speech. I would like to see less cursing but that is my religious belief and just plain don't like to hear it. I just try to ignore it when I see it. Each and every person is different and so is their severity of BP so nobody is trying to tell anybody how to live or deal with their disorder just giving a little spirit uplifting and emotional support and advice to try and help those around us. If anybody can tell me how to add friends and talk individually or group wise and not just on discussion boards I would really appreciate it. I don't feel I'm hopeless!! Thanks!

See I have to stay optomistic or my chances decrease. So I do have to go and I'm sorry I do. I have a lot in common with you. But your experience tells you that you can't live without meds. and my experience tells me I cannot live on meds. So we really can't support eachother. You are waiting for me to fail and I am waiting for meds to quit for you or give you more grief than help. It's not working for me. If there is one thing I have learned after being diagnose in 1991 and trying meds for years and then going my own way is that I do need help. It does no good to pretend I don't have BP. But I have finally found the help I need. Professionals are becoming more aware of people like me. I have a lot of hope for my kind and like I said I have to stay optomistic. We all struggle and suffer. But I'm living a life worthwhile even with the down time. I really apreciate all of you and your struggles and I wish you all the very best. Love and respect.

see heres the point lorna im not waiting on u to fail or i dnt think others r either and y would u b waiting 4 me to fail so i can come 2 ur way of thinking the great thing is diff things work 4 diff people and there is no right or wrong and people like u as u say r all people like us bipolar looking for our cure and just cuz i dnt agree with ur treatment doesnt mean i cant support u and i can live with out meds i choose nt to i lived without them ovr 3/4 my life im trying smthing else 4 a change and all of us i think our lives are worthwhile and as far as drs becoming aware of people like u there have always been people like u around its not a new discovery

Can this please just stop already, I'm not trying to be mean, but we all need each others support with or without meds. BP or not we are all in need of each others help in this world. Lorna if you want to leave then do so, stop wasting your energy on this arguement, you do what is best for you! Shelly, you need to do the same you have your ideas about what is best for you and you're right. Lorna has ideas of what is best for her and she is right. So basically you are both right in doing what is best for yourselves. I think most of this was a misunderstanding. I hope this does not upset you both, but I want you both to be well and I think precious energy is being wasted on arguing. Sorry if I do offend.

i haven't read alot of your journal lorna, but from your post about leaving, i think i am agreeing with you, correct me if I'm wrong.
My depakote drives me crazy and i promised myself I would never go on meds to control how i act (react) Now that I've done it I feel dependent. Now I want out. I'm sick of the side effects, I'm sick of the money, and I want control of my own life. I'm sure alot of people here can relate. I like the idea that we have something in common, but sometimes we can talk about things other than our disorders. We can be friends based on other things we have in common. Maybe we could start some threads about current events or something, I don't know--you guys are my family and i hope everyone can get through this and not leave the site so we can be here for each other

**begins with the not stopping, but thinks Foreal made valid points...if this is not helping LoarnaR, she shouldn't be here, it's bad for her, as she said. Only she would know what a strain it would be and understand best that it is not helping.

However, there needs to be a voice for those not addressing these problems with medication. When I first started medication, I was told it was to help me stop the descent and stabilize me so I could then address the problem otherwise; this hasn't worked so far for more than short term. But the intention is to use the meds to contain the problem and then address it with other methods. Only the pharmaceutical companies want people on their meds for life, most doctors don't and shouldn't. As many of us have learned, some meds, far from helping the situation, actually made it worse.

The behavioral therapies out there that have become fashionable (good or bad) lean on the point that our behavior can be changed, we can change our behavior and thought patterns to affect a change in our mental health. Psychotherapy was the same, personal commitment to understand and change processes would alleviate or improve effects of the problem. Faith in a higher power helps countless numbers of people getting through life's worst situation, even those with a tendency to mood disorders like depression, anxiety and bipolar.

I don't think this idea needs to be attacked and it needs support in the discussion posts for those people seeking support here.

I've already told LornaR she is helping people here and should stay. I make that request again. In her comments on this discussion post she has brought out ideas that will help others in their path to feeling better, improving their mental health and getting on with daily life. Please stay and argue or ignore those who don't support your argument, but if this does help you, please stay.

Good luck.

im not arguing with ne one i said wat ever works for her is great and just cuz she doesnt agree with evrebody here doesnt mean she has to leave thats all im gona say on it

2-13-07
Sometimes when I feel vulnerable I still get mad and sometimes I really dont communicate the best. My belief is that there are times for medication like when Ive let my thinking get so messed up that its become a crisis. I havent had to do that for a long time. Plus I use a sleep aid now and then. Its progress not perfection I strive for. I cant leave thinking you might believe Im angry at you, cause I have nothing but compassion for you and empathy. Someone in here said its too bad that I will have to learn the hard way. Well a good life is a life with risks. You chose yours and I chose mine, thats all. Im not going to leave with the same kind of threatening statement even though I know medication could quit working or start to affect your health and you may have to quit too. I just want to wish you well. Be careful what you say to people. Hopelessness for me came in the form of pills that made me feel sicker instead of better. And they were my only hope I had back then. The only reason I made it out alive is cause I have kids. It happens to more people than you give credit for. And Im sure medication does work for a lot. I have BP friends who it seems to work for. And there wouldnt be all the support for it either Im sure. God bless us all.

I have bp1 and have been in and out of psych hospitals 3 to 6 times a year for 20+ years-- I'm tired of it. I believe I am finally on yhe right comb of meds-- lamictal, seroquel, and fish oil. You going to AA is just fine-- but they in know way can treat a major mental illness like bipolar disorder with a miracle from God, saying, IF you have enough faith in him he will cure you. It is very dangerous for them to talk people uot of taking they're meds. If you have bp I and are not taking and are not looking for the right meds I firmly believe it is not a matter of if, but when. I wish you all the luck LornaR--- your going to need it.

Sometimes when I feel vulnerable I still get mad and sometimes I really dont communicate the best. My belief is that there are times for medication like when Ive let my thinking get so messed up that its become a crisis. I havent had to do that for a long time. Plus I use a sleep aid now and then. Its progress not perfection I strive for. I cant leave thinking you might believe Im angry at you, cause I have nothing but compassion for you and empathy. Someone in here said its too bad that I will have to learn the hard way. Well a good life is a life with risks. You chose yours and I chose mine, thats all. Im not going to leave with the same kind of threatening statement even though I know medication could quit working or start to affect your health and you may have to quit too. I just want to wish you well. Be careful what you say to people. Hopelessness for me came in the form of pills that made me feel sicker instead of better. And they were my only hope back then. It happens to more people than you give credit for. And Im sure medication does work for a lot. I have BP friends who it seems to work for. And there wouldnt be all the support for it either Im sure. God bless us all.

Shelly I think you are a sweet woman trying to find your way. I loved your sorrow about how depressing the world appears. So no it really has nothing to do with you. Im sorry I used the word attacked. I guess it might have had something to do with those capitals! Just kidding! I run into this problem everywhere I go if you could imagine. Were all doing our best and thats beautiful. You crack me up about the monk thing. I have thought about going to a mountain and meditating for the rest of my life. I have plenty of peace when I dont have to deal with regular people. I feel that it is my destiny to connect however. And Im glad cause I think Id get bored. I might go crazy and die but Id probably enjoy that kind of crazy! I guess you have to know me to love me! I get lost on the hillsides and I never want to come back. I have my binoculars and good hiking shoes. I love all kinds of weather but here in Ukiah it is the most wonderful climate Ive ever lived in. I have lived a lot of places way out in the middle of nowhere. Ukiah is a big town for me, 15,000 people. Had to move to a bigger town cause I had to have more support! Most my family reside in small towns in Idaho and MT. So I know the snowshoe hike and the cross country skiing to friends houses lifestyle too. I am feeling so blessed this morning. I think I will miss you. I think I may check in from time to time on you all. If I fail and end up back on meds Ill come back. Peace, Lorna

Let me see if I understand this: 20+ years of trying and failing and you are comfident this is it this time? I admire your faith in your belief system...allow her to try hers without saying it is less EFFECTIVE than your treatments have proven to be, thus far and for so long.



I think this is the argument LornaR was making; the above comment is not supportive and is critical, if not downright insulting.

Peace and best wishes