Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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The sharpest knife.

grenadine
grenadine
I was just lying in bed and I was thinking about what were to happen if I killed myself. I wrote about how I wanted to die in my journal. Then I got out of bed and went downstairs in the kitchen where I went straight for the knives. I picked out the sharpest knife and put the blade on my wrist. But unfortunately, I couldn't do it. So what now? I still want to die and for my life to be over. Maybe I should overdose on my medication. I'm scared to be alone tonight as I was last night. I'm getting more suicidal and miserable each day.
surferchica
surferchica
I can relate, unfortunately. I'm in a pretty miserable place myself.

It would help if you weren't alone. Does your mom or anyone know how suicidal you feel at the moment?

I don't know much more to say...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow I haven't had that thought in a few months,lets see what did I do.............................hmmmmmm..........I went to the hospital and stayed til they got my medication adjusted,it only took a few days. I didn't have insurance and told them my financial predicament so they waived all the costs and fees.Even sent me home with samples of my medicationns. Damn sounds good to me right now as a matter of fact maybe I'll go into the hospital tonight myself.
TwilightStar
TwilightStar
This is getting to an extremely dangerous point. Perhaps now would be a good time to head over to the ER.

You will never be alone there. And they can help you become stabilized. Go there and be honest with them.

If you're not comfortable going alone, is there anyone who can take you there? All thus fails, call 911.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Obviously you are not in a good place and it's time to get professional help. Please go to an ER and check yourself in. But know that you can do this; you can get through this. You are stronger than you know.

I'm sorry you're in such pain and I hope it doesn't last long. Wishing you peace and comfort.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You should go to the hospital. That is a scary place to be in. I was this way last week and called my doc and we got it figured out. The pill thing is miserable. It all is. You must be loved by someone, just think of how they would feel without you. ((HUGS))
grenadine
grenadine
I'm going to make it through the night. A friend came through and really saved me tonight. To think I just had a knife in my hand and I actually feel okay right now. It's a little miracle to me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
it will be back if you don't do something about it with professional help.

i am SO relieved to hear you're ok. that was a very scary thread.
(hug)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I understand, I go there too sometimes.

Lately I am thinking that in a world of endless possibilities, if you are going to wish for something, wish for a good, full, happy life.

I think our spirits choose for us the lessons that come into our lives and that we don't get out so easy. I think we keep coming back in some other form until we figure it out. That's a depressing thought when I feel like crap and I want out, but it keeps me alive and so far I am glad about that.