Part XXIII...For those that have been abused sexually this is probably not a topic to read for I have never been sexually abused before and therefor cannot speak from your point of view.

When talking about intimacy, I'm talking sex, passionate, sensual sex. An act performed with a consenting partner where you lose all inhibitions and boundaries with one another as you become one, satisfying each others sexual desires. Intimacy/sex comes in many different forms, and one can say there is a many stages before the actual act of sexual intercourse takes place.

I'm going to generalize here, but women love the process, men love the act. Men will satisfy the woman's need for flirtation whilst he is truly thinking, now? Right now? Not yet? When? This is in the mind of all single men, and even married men that has a monogamous relationship with his wife.

When I was single, I played the numbers game. I tried to be in serious relationships and all the rest of it, but it wasn't until I met Maria that I could see myself being monogamous with someone. I married her because I was ready, already experiencing the whole "intimate' thing with multiple partners (at different times I might add).

Intimacy in the way I have spoken is a necessity to me, and its only the minority I believe that can disagree.

So why bring this personal topic up, you might ask? Well quite frankly it changes the way I communicate with others, especially women. In getting married to my beloved Maria, I have taken sex out of the equation with any other female I may meet.

The trouble I have having now in dealing with people over the internet in person, particularly with women, is I simply "don't go there".

For example, just last night I was on an anonymous online support group for people that suffer from Bipolar Disorder. I thought it would be a good place to practice my new found skills as a mental health first aid officer after doing a course on it recently, having lived experience myself. Someone on there seemed to be hinting on having suicidal thoughts. I tried speaking on the main forum with this person but everyone else besides me didn't seemed to be paying attention.

I tried conversing and asked if they would like to talk to personally on a instant messaging feature they had on the site. The person said it was ok. I sent them a message asking what the matter was and they replied that they had problems with bugs, small voices, not sleeping, and an ex boyfriend. Just for argument sake I was assuming this was a lady (I will address this person as such), like I said "I don't go there" anymore". So I approached what seemed to be a woman on the other three topics besides her ex boyfriend when really I know this would ahve been her real problem.

Before I was married, nothing was taboo, but guess what? I have boundaries now, and when dealing in this situation, I choose to have them, like being at work, I put up the "professional" me and this is the me. So here I am now, asking this woman questions as a "professional" would do.

From experience, when a person mentions "bugs, small voices" they are referring to what a psychiatrist believes as hallucinations. This person is telling she is feeling either a sensation of bugs crawling under her asking or itching at her, as well as hearing voices that has no apparent source.

Instead of doing what I would I have done prior to marriage and just asked her about her ex boyfriend and told her all the bullshit a bloke tells a woman when going through a break up I focused on her "hallucinations" and treatment. I asked her what medication she was taking and found out she was talking two types of mood stabilizers. From my experience, if you hallucinate you should be on some form of anti-psychotic. I suggested she take an anti-psychotic that has a sedating effect that would both alleviate the hallucinations and help her sleep, which he said she did not want to take any more pills.

hmmmmm...did I mention she was having suicidal thoughts?

Anyway, she soon disconnected but before she left, she said "Thank you for trying".

So what happened?

That's my side of the story, I guess if I continue to go on these support sites and try to prevent people from suicide and not take their mind off things by bringing sex to the table then I will have to get used to this type of response.

Ref: www.boxrep.blogspot.com