My familly says they don't want to know anything about what I have. They just want me to get better and have no clue why I go into the hospital, to them I seem very normal because like you I hide it well.I've come to realize though that they really do love me. they just don't have a clue about what this islike.

By hiding everything from your family,you are not giving them a chance to even come close to understanding your condition.....it may be hard,but I recommend a family meeting ,and out line what BP is..how it will affect your life and future..just my opinion...as I have no knowledge of your basic family dynamics..this also could back fire in your face?

well similarly I truely believe they do love me. I came to realize this when I went to rehab and they didn't completely turn their backs on me like I expected them too.

but they have very little understanding of anything that is unlike them. So I basically have to handle them accordingly. I'm usually calm as a cucumber but now that I'm on these new meds I'm incredibly moody, and I'm trying very hard to hide that from them. I am able to do it still at this point but it's so exhausting! And now that I'm having this cognitive problems it's getting harder and harder to hide the truth from them, and I have these cognitive problems randomly. Some days I'm normal and can handle anything that comes my way others I take longer than I should have to, just to figure out when it's safe to cross the street. And you know you are really having some problems when perfect stranger's notice and ask if you are alright while in public.

Any way the point is I'm really starting to have some very serious problems and I can't really tell any one in my family about it for many reasons. I already feel like my uncle is trying to take control over all the decisions involving my kids. The rest of my family is a little unsympathetic because they don't understand mental illness and they can't understand why I'm not working. Because apparently there is no excuse for not working in my family. I've tried explaining things to them in the past but it's like trying to explain something to a cockroach, pointless, and impossible.

I wanted to have my ex-wife for Christmas, but she said she just wasn't into me anymore.

It is so exhausting pretending to be normal. Used to wear me out when I had to act normal at work each day all day when I just wanted to curl up under the desk and cry.

Sorry your family and not very supportive. I'd just limit my contact with them if I were you. You don't need their shit on top of your own shit.

Trivial aside. Family life is the bastion of expectation and a life of torment because of it. It is hard to be unwell in an environment where everyone around you believes you shouldn't be. Believes you aren't. However, I'm with those who suggest you do less to hide your pain and more to let your family know of it.

easy for every one to say about letting my family know but you don't know my family. I have many good reasons for not trying to explain what I go through, because quite frankly some of them are plain old fashion and ignorant. And many of them are some what functional alcoholics. Trying to get through to them is like trying to talk to some one on the other side of the planet with only your voice and no other devices. But I will not cut them off or turn my back on them. Just because I have my own problems doesn't mean I shouldn't try to help them with theirs does it? Just because they don't understand me doesn't mean I don't understand them. I love my family and I can't just abandon them, my only real complaint is just that being around them is exhausting. I'm already over the fact that I wont be getting any kind of support from them.

Just look after yourself. Look after yourself first and foremost. If you're not healthy, how can you help people who may be less healthy than you?

Take care.

I have no need to edu anyone about my illness nor effects that it has on my life.
I have p-doc,p-nurse & bar tender.
I don't care if people opt to edu themselves about my illness.
R some of those who u want to have knowkedge of & to understand, in medical field ?
I don't know why - even strangers insist on trying to tell me about tbhier condition. I'm not a DR.
I guess no one in thier envoriment actually listens to them &/or didn't listen to them as they grew up into adult bodys, so when out in public they like to hear themselves talk. Again I do not work in medical field and I assume that they have Dr and if not, they can get service of Dr's.My friends etc... who I know understand that sometimes I will not show up for a scheduled lunchon....
As like mysellf I do not have need to how, why, nor what pain feels like... and about thier Dr visits - reports.
I spend moments with my friends,family, neighbours & share moments w them. I pay my Dr & bar tender to assist me and to lesson to me.
Just because others want whatever from us, we don't half to give - do as they want nor when they want.
People treatt us the way that they do because we let them & have taught them to do.
Most of my family is in medical field & law. without edu them about my life they already know because of type of illness that I have and meds that I'm on.
I know that my family and others care about &/or love me and they want me to get better.
My illness has cycles in cycleing clyle.I have good & not so good and bad days just like anyone else.
Depression is my showdow, no big dea,l I know what to do and how long a gray depression will last etc...
I know not to listen to my mind lies when it trys to lie and convience me of the lies.
Yes, our minds will lie to us.
I understand the type of BP that I have and effects that it has on me - my daily life.
I take med for anxiety too.
I can relate to your illness & life, if it is the type that I have.

Thank God that we have understanding and that our meds were already on market - available.
I will do just about anything to get & stay on my meds.

I'm thankful for those I know, for medical care, meds, living life to the best that I can & bar tender.
& yap, for you too.

X's

Be good to yourself for yourself and for others & 4 us on DS.

I do hear what you are saying gonetroppo and you have a valid point but once the holiday season is over I can go back to my own life and work mostly on myself. It's not like I'm trying to save the world or anything, But I'm not so completely debilitated that I can't give a little insight where it might be needed (all though I am fearful that day may come). Also some of my family members are just now going through some things I've already gone through and had to deal with so I may have more uses than any one realizes.

But yes dealing with every thing is proving to be a struggle, I guess all I really wanted was some one to relate to me.

i can relate

Hi me back, just read replys.

go netropps.
depart & leave your formor alone. distance yourself.
there r white collar calls girls, escort - positute services. there are strip clubs and 900 ph no's etc... for you to enjoying playing drums,lol.

Everyone should have a friend w no strings w benifits.
Leave your formor in the past.

For price of a drink, woman in red neck bars or seprated or recently divorced can be had. spend 30mintues to 3 days chatting her up & pertend that your lessoning, works.

Un welcome sexual advances - comments... are illeagal.

does your formor play &/or tease head game to get what ever she/he wants from yoou when she/he wants!

when & if your hyper sex. do u insist that u have what you already had for conveince when u want, just & expect it. just wondering.

mother thum & 4 sisters beating to beat of drum,lol
some send others good vibe wishes,lol

use of prositution service is tax deductable. just write it off as a business exspence. don't forget the restraunt/motel recites &/or out of town recite.

adjoining states just visit prosituts in ea other state,lol
to keep up the look alike - that's what conventions are for,lol
everyone has a look alike and others that so resummble thier own family members.

D Knob. dealing w my ownself - life is a full time job in itself.
But it is manageable.
I learnt the order of my cycles in cycleing cycle. & what will take place in ea & the length of ea & that they temprorary overlap etc...
I share briefe moments w famiy, friends etc... I foruse on myself-my life.
I'm not my family's Dr's vice verse.
I know that when a person is retire that there are state & medical programs - assistance available.
In home care services work w cleaning service
s etc...
Meals on wheels is a great proram & as avalibility of public transportation .

At this moment I don't recall the auth name of book " Toxic parents"

Anyone who walks on egg shell etc... should read this book.

I step aside from human vaccumm's
I won't be suck into disfunk. I exspent some people script has need for such crapola.&/or they know no better &/or they know but don't work to change - beat the abuseive pattren - way of life.
it's sad but my focus is on myself & my over all well being.

Take care.

Bk to face book & myspace I go.

Have u seen the tv show - movie of ____ creig web site/dateing web site, killer based on true story,yet. It will show here this coming monday here on mid east coast - e-coast line.
he a serio killer of woman.

Unfortunately things often come back to stigma and peoples comfort level with mental illness.. my family as well never mentioned it.. they were good people but just had a real discomfort with mental illness.. I would talk about things matter of 'factly' as I was an advocate for bipolar disorder and stigma was a big part of that...however it never was something they could find any comfort in discussing.
Iit was better for me just to stop talking about it and feeling badly as I realized this wasn't something they were ever going to get.
It hurts I know that but for me there were so many good sides to them and it was just something that they were never going to understand
Great big hug of support for you!