Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Ok. So I want a future. I want a NORMAL future. The one where I work, get health insurance w/ dental, live in the same place for more than a few months, raise my kids, go out on the weekends sometimes.
Learning from the past, I know that both me and my kids need a stable home. I know that I have been more unstable in the past year than in the 5 BP years prior. I know that I failed at returning to work. I know that relationshits suck.
Soooo, my kids don't want to leave this school district. I can stay here, if I plan on never working again (no jobs available in this area). I can stay here if I don't plan on ever regaining a social life.
Past experiences would tell me to just stay put and suck it up. But shouldn't I want a little more out of life? Is this like giving up? Or is it more like the "responsible adult" thing to do?
Learning from the past, I know that both me and my kids need a stable home. I know that I have been more unstable in the past year than in the 5 BP years prior. I know that I failed at returning to work. I know that relationshits suck.
Soooo, my kids don't want to leave this school district. I can stay here, if I plan on never working again (no jobs available in this area). I can stay here if I don't plan on ever regaining a social life.
Past experiences would tell me to just stay put and suck it up. But shouldn't I want a little more out of life? Is this like giving up? Or is it more like the "responsible adult" thing to do?
i would do whats best for the whole and i have always heard that taking care of yourself, is taking care of your kids.
the only time i wouldnt move my kids is late middle school and teen years.. younger kids tho, can readjust.
it truly isnt up to them and if you think having a bit of a life would make you a happier parent, i would do that.. in the long run, it will benefit your kids.
My belief is and always has been that once you have kids, you can kiss your life goodbye until they're 18 years old.
The first thought should always be 'what's best for the kids?'
End of story.
That's for norms.
For Bipolars, the first thing should STILL be 'what's best for the kids?'
But you can't stop there. Next, you have to weigh whether or not you're going to be able do the first thing without going bonkers. you need to be as stable as possible, for their sakes.
There may have to be compromises, sacrifices, and some really hard choices.
You can want all you want out of life.
You just can't have it at the expense of your children.
It's not 'giving up.'
It's doing what's best for your kids.
(What's best for the kids is not always what they want. It's what you think is best for them.)
I don't know if I'll ever be able to work again, for many reasons.
I feel like I'm depriving them of their childhoods and I feel even more guilty with every move. If I have to choose between a life for me or a life for them, I guess I have my answer. It just feels a lot like giving up at the same time.
So, maybe I should just bunker down here until that opportunity arrives (which is likely never).
Happiness is not a selfish idea. The reason being that you are the head of the household, and your emotional energy is a major part of that household. If you are not happy then the family unit will also suffer. Thus staying may cause more long term damage.
In my mind the responsible thing to do is what will offer the family unit the best possible future.
I would worry about one thing at a time.... as far as your kids request, it is valid, but don't worry about that now.... MOM needs to be 100%, and wherever that leads you, or takes you, they will follow....
xoxo