I'm so sorry things have been so bad for you! It sounds like you've had a really difficult time with your son and other members of your family. I'm here to talk if you need to.

Sort of a broken record on here I know, but if you really feel as though you are a danger to yourself, please get help Call a suicide hotline and talk it out, or head to er. They may not be able to solve your problems at home, but maybe you could get some new tools to protect yourself.

Again, I'm here for you if you need me.

Jenn, sometimes our circumstances seem to overwhelm us, when really it is the disease that is talking. People have great resiliency, and the capacity to grow and change. I am not talking down to you, but what I have been through.

I will pray for you to have the courage to keep on living, esp. for your son. I have one difficult child, but somehow I always held on to the fact that he needed me alive, not dead. Please PM me if you need more help.

It sounds like you need a break. Can you lock yourself in your room and put a pillow over your head?

all I can think of is: military school!

Is there somewhere you could go to take a short break? Maybe a friend or a sibling you can stay for a week? Just for a little rest so you can gather yourself.

I think Angela said it all. I hope you work this out soon,maybe a visit to the doctor is in order.

I thought about sending him to military school many times. I don't think I could afford it. My brother and his wife took for awhile several years ago. He was a real handful and they already have a lot on their plates.

I'm sorry you feel like you live for other people. How about living for yourself for a change? Maybe that's what your brain is trying to tell you--- live life for yourself sometimes.

I'm sorry Jenn...how dreadful & exhausting for you. Really sounds like you need a break from this terrible stress.

People have given good advice & support here...I do hope you'll contact your doc. x

Jenn, I'm so sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed!! I would really try to take a break from your situation and also see your pdoc to see if anything needs adjusting. I don't have children, but my sister does and I see what she deals with from my oldest niece and I KNOW it's GOT to be awful (she's difficult too!).....you are in my prayers!! xxx

"Jenn, you are just not thinking clearly right now. pls get a good nights sleep and deal with it in the morning. nothing very bad has really happened at this point. is there somewhere you can get more support taking care of him? at church? your mom? husbands mom? can u afford karate class, if u can not afford military school? if you find the right instructor that can instill a great deal of respect band disapline in him. boys club? after school programs? i don't know how old your son is or what issues you have had, but i agree with Angela, he needs you alive, not dead. you chose to live for someone else when you brought him into this world. thats what being a mom is. its not a choice anymore for you to live only for yourself. i think if you were feeling better, you would see how what you are saying is not really what you want. and i hate to add this, but i will. how bout a med tweek? pls, be good to yourself.
mary