Have you considered therapy and medication?

I learned that depression can be a chemical imbalance. I am bipolar with chronic depression. It has taken me many years to find the correct mix of meds but they work.

This may sound silly but the other thing I do is work a 12 step program for alcoholics. I go through the steps writing in a journal on a daily to monthly to yearly basis. As silly as it seems it works for me. It helps me declutter my mind and my life as well as helps me to keep it simple.

I currently go to therapy once a week and I take three medications, Abilify, Zoloft and Vyvanse, they help a lot considering I was much worse before and was even hospitalized. however I think I still struggle a lot because of trauma and abuse I've endured that have caused me to have such a negative mindset. I will try the 12 step program and see what comes of it, I'll let you know, thanks for the advice! ill be sure to give it a shot :)

You may be a little young for a 12 step program, especially if your not actually an abuser of alcohol or drugs.....those aren't really designed to work for Mental/Emotional Illness.

Some things you have to ignore. Because "normies" don't always understand what people like us who deal with Depression or Anxiety or Manic Eps or other issues stemming from our Mental Illness deal with on a day to day basis. They don't get that it's a struggle and we mentally talk ourselves back up each time we fall, so that we can continue to keep climbing up the hill and getting back on with life. They can't, because they don't walk in our shoes and they don't understand what we go through every hour of every day. I doubt your friend meant to be hurtful or insensitive, more likely she just doesn't fully understand how hard it is for you and why you do and say the things you do.

As you get older and keep managing your Illness, building towards stability, seeing your Therapist, taking your meds, learning coping skills to deal with the tough days...and keep going you learn that not everyone out there in the world understands and some people say things that come off as hurtful or just plain stupid. That's on them and you don't have to let every stupid remark or stupid person set you back. Because it will happen and there are a lot of them. Some things in life you have to learn to let slide off you.

Continue to work with your Therapist, find coping skills to help you manage your emotions when people say stupid things. Find ways to put your thoughts in a more positive direction and try not to focus on the negative. There is power in positive thinking....as much as there is in negative thinking and you can choose which you want to lean towards.

Take care and remember HS is a short time in life and you go on to bigger and better things. Don't worry about the future or what you'll be able to do, focus on the now, and take that a day at a time. Ask your Therapist or Pdoc if there are any Peer Groups in your area for people your age for support of similar situations.

Take care.

Lorilei,

I too am on zoloft and abilify. How amazing it is.

I suffered sexual abuse at the hands of my mothers husband and was put in the system at a very young age because I was going to grow up and move away and he would always be there for her. Sick, right!

Have you ever heard of the Book of Job from the bible? It may seem silly but I bought a childrens version and it changed me. I realized that through our lives there are going to be trials and tribulations. Times when we want to give up and give in but like Job I needed to believe. Job believed in God, as do I but for me I realized I had to believe in myself. I had to have faith. No matter how many times I got knocked down I had to get up and believe in myself. Seemed I was the only one I had.

I think by going to therapy and taking your meds you do have that belief in yourself. I think if you did not you would not attempt to make the inner battles in your mind go away. You would simply survive with them.

It took me many years to find the correct balance of meds, structure and self confidence. Forgive yourself, know that it is not your fault that you were traumatized and abused. It was a sick person ont he other end of the pain. Imagine what kind of life that person must have had, how sad and miserable they must be to find enjoyment in tormenting you. Misery breeds company... but look at you. You not only survived you are thriving.

Lets be friends. I think we can help each other alot

Big hug for you Lorilei…… I'm sorry that you're struggling sweetie and I'm sorry that you were hurt

It's great that you were able to have an open conversation with the person that made the rather blunt and unkind statement

I think you handled it really well and very maturely

Gratitude is my greatest tool..... When I'm feeling low or ever terrible I think of and right down at least 5 things to be grateful for every day and they're always there.... Far more then 5.... I never feel as badly when I'm feeling grateful

If you think that you're taking too many advanced classes maybe discuss it with an advisor at your school and think about what's really important to you

Big hug.... I'm glad that you're doing better.....xo

Lorilei,
I am in a very similar situation. I am in college and I am constantly struggling to get assignments done and get good grades. Especially since my go-to avoidance mechanism is to take naps when I'm feeling upset.
I struggled a lot in high school and I still got into the program I wanted, and once you're in no one asks you about your grades in high school.
I know this time seems like the end of the world but it will soon seem like small potatoes once you move on to bigger things.
Your support system is your greatest ally, be honest with your Tdoc especially on bad days. I used to say things like "I'm fine" when I was really struggling and that didn't help anyone. As you grow in your skill sets and figure out your meds it will get better.
I agree with OlderCPer, look to expand your support system with peer groups. You might also want to look into a hobby that has a social element like a sport or book club. (I'm in a knitting group and I love it!)
Best,
Olive

Justifiable feelings-
Stress for being or turning in things late.
Exhaustion -- from overwhelming stress and doubt
Negative depressive thoughts - from crash and burn/sleep

Now you've got that over with, time to take a deep breath and get ready to work hard. You can do it, you've done it before.

You are not alone, and most of us have been through the same things - all or nothing is common around here - no go flip the switch and get caught up. You are a good person, hard working and smart. You've got friends here and prayers coming you way..

You can do this LOL not your first rodeo and not your last : )

thank you all for the continuous support, it helps a ton and I will try to take all of the advice I've received on here, I think I'm doing much better with all the encouragement and just trying to be easier on myself in general and forgive myself for my shortcoming and letting things slide off my back. I will keep you all updated on my progress. :)