Lately, I have really been hit with not being able to feel fulfilled in my life. This has bled over into most aspects of life right now. I am sure the pandemic has contributed a lot to this, as well as some hard choices I had to make with school and work, but justifying those decisions doesn't make the feeling of loneliness and worthlessness go away. As much as school stressed me out, it gave me a reason to be happy sometimes and to get out of bed. As much as I said work made me feel like I was stuck, it gave me a reason to get up in the morning. So many people in my life have just told me to meet people, maybe wind up in a relationship, and everything will slowly get better and my self esteem will go up and my energy will go up and I will be living alright. Something is blocking me from feeling like people want to be around me. I feel like I never offer much, I get socially drained easily, and I am always an option and never a priority in people's lives. I don't really know how to get over this. I am sure I will talk about this with my therapist next week, but right now, I really feel down and out and get emotional over these things easily. Thanks for reading my meaningless rant. I dont expect anyone to relate. It just helps to get it out there.