I am so sorry you are going through this! My sister did this to me a couple of months ago to the point that I had to put wooden planks up to the windows so she couldn't break in and anchor a safe to the garage floor and start putting things in the safe. So I know what you're going through and no it isn't easy but you need to be honest with you hubby. It is crucial.

I agree with precious you have to let your husband know. Did you ask your son about it? This also happened to me once but it was my brother-in-law who we had let stay with us because he lost his place. We ended up putting everything in safes and keeping the keys on us. I eventually asked him to leave because that is no way to live. However, this is your son and you might not have that option. I am really sorry you are dealing with this. It's a tough spot to be in. Don't let it make you sick again because sometimes right after a depressive episode it doesn't take much to send you back. Hugs!!

It's happened to me by someone I love and it hurts a lot. I locked things up; this loved one broke into that. I finally gave the lock-box to a dear, trustworthy Friend. Nothing got stolen. Sad but true.
I too agree with autumn8890 that you have to talk with your husband about it...and your son.
You should take care of yourself first. You're not the bad person here. Your health is at stake and you won't do yourself nor your husband any good.
I wish you the best.

Take it from me. Deal with it sooner rather than later. And tell your husband. My youngest sister stole from my entire family when she lived with us. We had to lock our bedroom doors and leave all valuables in there. Sadly even when confronted with evidence, she denied ever stealing anything. Money. Expensive jewelry, clothes. Anything she wanted she stole. Finally she moved out and we changed the locks. It's sad when it's family but it's not an excuse either.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

Big hug Cheryl.... Did you son admit to doing this?... How old is he?... I agree that if he stole this money that you need to tell your husband and he needs to have some consequences .... I am so very sorry that your family is going through this.... xo

No easy way through this one. My eldest son's (now 36) thievery went so far that I finally pressed charges when he was 17. It worked. He still has a sense of entitlement bigger than the National debt, but he doesn't steal from us any more. Broken trust is hard to repair, though. We still lock up and/or hide our valuables when he is in the acting out phases of his mental illness cycle.

Sorry you are facing this dilemma, Cheryl. Steadying support while you find your way through.

I would try and talk with him..and try and illustrate the fact that stealing is first off wrong. A bad character problem. Second stealing from family is the worst.....I would talk to him before anything..

yes as others have said you need to share this burden with your husband and perhaps sit down with your son and lay out some ground rules before the situation gets out of hand. you need to have trust in your own home and i hope this doesn't trigger you too much. hugs and i hope it all works out for the best.

I don't know how to tell hubby, he works so hard. I am afrraid he will kick him out and he has no job or place to live. I feel stuck. I know I have to tell hubby but I am afraid of the fallout. I did confrot my son but he acted like it was not that big og deal he will pay me back by selling his plasma. I have had a headache since Thursday. thanks for all the love.

So then kick him out... He can go to a shelter... He sounds as though he's entitled ... This could be a good learning tool for him... This is criminal behaviour sweetie... There is no reason for you to feel stuck... He created these circumstances let him deal with the consequences... IMHO that's what can help him to grow

Yeah, sorry the boy needs to go. It is a big deal, he's a thief. He needs to learn that actions have consequences. You need to tell your husband, the longer you wait the worse it is. He needs to know that you and he are a team together. You can also tell him that you've given your son consequences and he's been told to leave your home. Because you can bet your bloomer, this won't be the only time if you let him stay....

How old is your son? he needs to know that this is a big deal and has consequences - definitely paying you back. is he in trouble? has he been in trouble? Is this the first time? throwing him out is a last resort not a first one but the threat of it might bring him to his senses and have him appreciate all you do for him. i hope you can pluck up the courage to take a breath and tell your husband so you can all work things out together and face this issue head on with strength and compassion. let us know how you get on.

I see that kicking him out is a last resort depending on his age and his history of behaviour.... No consequences means you accept this though and that's no good for any of you... I also agree that you and your husband are a team.... As hard as it is this is a good time for teaching ....xo

My middle child, son, at 18yrs old went into a major depressive episode triggered by his girlfriend (to whom he was already married in his head!) breaking up with him by text and then being mugged when he went to stay with his brother for a couple of weeks. I was so worried about him, i didn't know what he could do. finally he came home and i cooked all the food he would eat (he had lost an alarming amount of weight), bought him a set of weights etc.. and after about six months of little sleep and not being able to go to school he started weight lifting and getting fit and then started going for runs. he left home a more complete person and worked in construction for a little while before going back and finishing school. he is now a chef and while he still deals with depressive episodes he has better tools 10 yrs later to be able to handle them. I don't know what your situation is but our children need to know that the door is always open even if they only come to visit. I would suggest that the three of you sit down and work out a payment plan and how to move on from here until he restores trust. please let us know how you are getting on?