Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I have all of this nervous energy and I'm okay as long as I'm distracted by something but I also feel very hollow. It's like even when I'm distracted I still feel like I'm a robot just going through the motions. I'm nervous and can't sit still, but am not motivated and I'm getting nothing done. I have this HUGE list of things that must be done, and I can't seem to get to a single one of them. The idea of trying to start any of them is very overwhelming. Like just doing the laundry is more than I can imagine handling, let alone actually doing.
This empty hollow feeling is awful. I just feel like I'm kind of watching myself do whatever at a distance. I spent the day today with a close friend and, while it was fun I guess, my heart wasn't really in it. I really just feel a void. Like the "me" part is missing.
Maybe this is just a personaility flaw that I can't seem to get any of this stuff done. Like I just can't push myself hard enough. Like maybe if i was a better/stronger/faster/thinner/kinder person I'd be able to do all of this without any problems. I know that sounds dumb, but I really feel that way.
The worst part is, if I try to take my prn seroquel and klonopin to knock me out so I can just get a little rest and stop my brain from flying around, I still can't fall asleep. Once I'm asleep I do okay, but it's almost impossible to get there.
So... something is wrong. It doesn't feel like depression and it doesn't feel like mania and it doesn't feel like normal. I can't even cry. Tears come but they don't fall. If I could let something out, then maybe I'd know what I have been feeling but right now I just feel paralyzed.
This empty hollow feeling is awful. I just feel like I'm kind of watching myself do whatever at a distance. I spent the day today with a close friend and, while it was fun I guess, my heart wasn't really in it. I really just feel a void. Like the "me" part is missing.
Maybe this is just a personaility flaw that I can't seem to get any of this stuff done. Like I just can't push myself hard enough. Like maybe if i was a better/stronger/faster/thinner/kinder person I'd be able to do all of this without any problems. I know that sounds dumb, but I really feel that way.
The worst part is, if I try to take my prn seroquel and klonopin to knock me out so I can just get a little rest and stop my brain from flying around, I still can't fall asleep. Once I'm asleep I do okay, but it's almost impossible to get there.
So... something is wrong. It doesn't feel like depression and it doesn't feel like mania and it doesn't feel like normal. I can't even cry. Tears come but they don't fall. If I could let something out, then maybe I'd know what I have been feeling but right now I just feel paralyzed.
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One day runs into the next I can't seem to keep them straightBut i do know it's Tuesday and I start to clean my landord's place again so it'll keep me going although I take breaks more often nowHe doesn't mind and I gwt it doneI hope that you have a good day and can get done what you need toBig hugz sent..Xo
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Good day to everyone...Well sort of day...I'm still waiting to sleepI think I will soonI got a few things done yesterday...Pushing through and I hope to do the same todayI've been low so everything at this point is one big effortHopefully that will change before longSending hugs...Have a good day!...xo
I am sorry i cant be of more help. I hope this phase passes for you soon x
Hope you get some help with it .
I looked at your list of meds, but don't see any that work toward fully bringing your mind into focus. The meds on your list are good ones, and seem to help quell the stronger highs and lows that come with bipolar.
Commit these thoughts and feelings to paper (or computer) so that you can accurately describe them to pdoc when you need see him/her.
One of the good things learned in CBT, DBT and other behavioral therapy is focus. That way, you can learn the steps toward getting things done, one at a time, and not feel as overwhelmed with the thought of so many at one time.
It happens to Other, Sane People, too, you know. lol. My sister had a poster on her wall at work that read, "I try to take one day at a time; but lately, several days have been ganging up on me at once."
Hang in there, sweetie. Be sure to let the doc know about all this, as they will likely try to tweak your meds to help.
*hugs*