I am going to be in a show tonite, This is a mania trigger for me -- In the past I've gone bonkers trying on costumes, turning the house upside down looking for props.. My partner was afraid when I told him I was going to do this show.
As an artist I hate how not getting hypomanic stifles my art!
It's not worth it at all to lose stability to improve my creativity --feels so good though..
Well last nite - technically this morning, 2 or 3am, because Great ideas kept coming to me--I had to take some Seroquel to sleep & it has helped clear my thoughts.
It's normal to be anxious about performing, but I'm not going to let that keep me from doing something I love --I still need to live my life and not feel sorry for myself -using bipolar as an excuse.
I'm anxious in a good way now too, and i'm reminding myself, to keep things in perspective --- to not let the high from performing throw me off either -- or if I bomb, not to let it hurt me or get depressed.
I was so afraid to take the Seroquel last nite because I thought it would make me feel like a zombie, but it didn't. I'm glad I took it. That's why I have it! I did the right thing. (Big Sigh)