Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Many days I feel as if there is no hope for me...
Many days I feel as if I am living someone else's life and not my own, not the life chosen for me.....
Many days I feel out of touch.....with myself, I can't seem to get grounded....
Many days I feel way too much......then nothing at all.....
Something isn't right within myself but I don't know what it is, I can't seem to find "it" no matter how hard I try. Too often I just feel as if something is wrong, uncomfortable in my own skin.....bigtime. I don't like this at all....I try distraction but it only lasts for as long as I distract myself. I think these damn "borderline tendencies" that I was told I have are more than just tendencies. I know borderliine and bipolar overlap in many ways, I just don't know which way to turn ya know?
I'm too damn unsettled with so much, I just don't know what to work on first, damn, and I was doing so good just a couple hours ago...sigh
I try to let what is, just BE, but it never works for very long...not long enough for me to enjoy just 1 entire day.....this blows.
Many days I feel as if I am living someone else's life and not my own, not the life chosen for me.....
Many days I feel out of touch.....with myself, I can't seem to get grounded....
Many days I feel way too much......then nothing at all.....
Something isn't right within myself but I don't know what it is, I can't seem to find "it" no matter how hard I try. Too often I just feel as if something is wrong, uncomfortable in my own skin.....bigtime. I don't like this at all....I try distraction but it only lasts for as long as I distract myself. I think these damn "borderline tendencies" that I was told I have are more than just tendencies. I know borderliine and bipolar overlap in many ways, I just don't know which way to turn ya know?
I'm too damn unsettled with so much, I just don't know what to work on first, damn, and I was doing so good just a couple hours ago...sigh
I try to let what is, just BE, but it never works for very long...not long enough for me to enjoy just 1 entire day.....this blows.
:( x
Pdoc appt this coming week....ugh but I'm going.
Thanks Zenith.....going to enjoy the little things for now like you mentioned. Been playing with my cat Mister, he's such a goofball, he's got it made too!!
i think there is a real propensity in this culture to always be doing, and working fingers to the nibs, and chasing silly paper.
playing with a cat (or any animal) seems to me a small victory over this obsessive though pattern.
I know that feeling of searching and searching, leaving no stone unturned to find that elusive missing puzzle piece.
It's like Mr. Baby peering into the frig to find the ketchup. He swears its not there. He frustratingly acknowledges that he did look everywhere. He swears its not on the ketchup shelf. I open the door and it's right there .... front and center.
Finding that centeredness and groundedness finally came when I approached it more naturally than the high alert, all-points-bulletin approach I used to use. I just started working on things one thought group at a time. I knew my sense of self was askew so I worked on understanding where that river of negative thought originated and practiced and practiced rewriting those mental tapes until it became my new natural.
I knew my thoughts ricocheted like a pinball. I worked and worked at retraining those thought patterns. I began practicing yoga to quiet my mind and body.
With meds, these techniques have worked pretty well for me. Not perfect but good enough. Hang in there, Tats!! Here's hoping your ketchup is right there on the ketchup shelf. :)
I don't give myself much down time, it would be good for me. Yoga and down time like that.
I have been in a state of unrest for a long time now....getting tired, and so many times I feel like giving up and in some ways I have. Have to get back up on the horse I suppose.....
I'm not stable Baby, see now I am crying. And I do not believe that the meds will help me anymore. I've been on all of them, "very hard to treat" the docs have said.....wth??