Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
So many things have been going wrong. I feel like all I do is run around and put out fires. Last summer, I spent a month inpatient trying to get my meds sorted out which never really happened successfully. Then, I started getting very sick. I've seen almost every kind of specialist, had every kind of test (I probably glow in the dark from all of the radiation) and no one seems to be able to determine anything other than my blood work is vaguely off. So whatever. Still seeing specialists.
On top of all this, my uncle, with whom I was relatively close, suddenly passed in the middle of January. He was a long suffering alcoholic, I mean the type that doesn't leave home, but it was still kind of a shock. His daughter and I are like sisters, and this has obviously been a very difficult time for her.
Trying to help her with all of the arrangements and probate things and just keeping her house together (she is married w a 14 month old, but her husband is easily overwhelmed) is a lot. Silly things just keep coming up. Three days after my uncle passed, we received a foreclosure notice on his house. He hasn't paid a bill in forever. He had unopened mail in piles just sort of laying in a heap around his house from 2004. The house itself is a biohazard mess. It's disgusting and trashed. We filled a 20 yard dumpster with trash from the house, and we will need another one for the garage and shed and a few leftovers in the house. It needs a roof, the bathroom floor is rotted, the furnace is going out, the water heater is going through the floor, and it has to be hooked up to the city septic when/before it is sold. He also of course hasn't paid city taxes either for the last two cycles. He owed everyone money. It is a total disaster trying to sort all of that out.
On top of that mess, my cousin's household was attacked by the norovirus (I haven't gotten it yet, but since I was taking care of everyone last week, it's only a matter of time I suppose). That was a total disaster. My cousin and the baby made ER trips. Daddy managed to avoid the hospital.
Lastly, my cousin is in the testing stages for something that could potentially be not so good. Odds are in her favor that it's nothing, but since she keeps getting struck by the same bolt of lightnjng, I have no idea what to think. If it turns out badly, I will end up living at her house for a while to help w her household stuff and the baby. Her husband is a great guy, but watching the baby is about all he can do. Laundry and cleaning and cooking and things are not in his wheelhouse. She is the one who works. So... Things could get dicey fast.
All of that said, I mean, being busy helps me because I'm out of my head and not focused on my physical or emotional self. It's bad because there is no recovery time either. I get pushed past where I probably should let myself go, but she doesn't have anyone else to help her. It's kind of like, if you have a broken leg but you are the only person on the beach and there is no way to call for help, when you see someone drowning, do you just let them drown? I mean, you might drown too trying to save them, but at least you didn't sit there and just watch.
Sorry this is so long. I just needed to vent I guess. It's been one ridiculous thing after another since he passed. I didn't list them all here. There really is not reason to, but it's an almost daily thing where something comes up that has to be dealt with immediately. And I grab my fire extinguisher and head out the door...
On top of all this, my uncle, with whom I was relatively close, suddenly passed in the middle of January. He was a long suffering alcoholic, I mean the type that doesn't leave home, but it was still kind of a shock. His daughter and I are like sisters, and this has obviously been a very difficult time for her.
Trying to help her with all of the arrangements and probate things and just keeping her house together (she is married w a 14 month old, but her husband is easily overwhelmed) is a lot. Silly things just keep coming up. Three days after my uncle passed, we received a foreclosure notice on his house. He hasn't paid a bill in forever. He had unopened mail in piles just sort of laying in a heap around his house from 2004. The house itself is a biohazard mess. It's disgusting and trashed. We filled a 20 yard dumpster with trash from the house, and we will need another one for the garage and shed and a few leftovers in the house. It needs a roof, the bathroom floor is rotted, the furnace is going out, the water heater is going through the floor, and it has to be hooked up to the city septic when/before it is sold. He also of course hasn't paid city taxes either for the last two cycles. He owed everyone money. It is a total disaster trying to sort all of that out.
On top of that mess, my cousin's household was attacked by the norovirus (I haven't gotten it yet, but since I was taking care of everyone last week, it's only a matter of time I suppose). That was a total disaster. My cousin and the baby made ER trips. Daddy managed to avoid the hospital.
Lastly, my cousin is in the testing stages for something that could potentially be not so good. Odds are in her favor that it's nothing, but since she keeps getting struck by the same bolt of lightnjng, I have no idea what to think. If it turns out badly, I will end up living at her house for a while to help w her household stuff and the baby. Her husband is a great guy, but watching the baby is about all he can do. Laundry and cleaning and cooking and things are not in his wheelhouse. She is the one who works. So... Things could get dicey fast.
All of that said, I mean, being busy helps me because I'm out of my head and not focused on my physical or emotional self. It's bad because there is no recovery time either. I get pushed past where I probably should let myself go, but she doesn't have anyone else to help her. It's kind of like, if you have a broken leg but you are the only person on the beach and there is no way to call for help, when you see someone drowning, do you just let them drown? I mean, you might drown too trying to save them, but at least you didn't sit there and just watch.
Sorry this is so long. I just needed to vent I guess. It's been one ridiculous thing after another since he passed. I didn't list them all here. There really is not reason to, but it's an almost daily thing where something comes up that has to be dealt with immediately. And I grab my fire extinguisher and head out the door...
Your family is very fortunate that you can put your life on hold to help out during this time after your uncle's death. Every super caregiver does carve out a little time to recharge and you should too. Sorry for your loss and take care.
If I can offer one piece of advice, it would be that you should make sure to take time for yourself every so often. Even if it's something small, do something just for you. I got into a habit of buying a new book and starting to read it over dinner and drinks at my favorite restaurant every payday. Never took more than an hour, but without fail, I came away from it feeling like I was on top of things again.
As something of an afterthought... Do you have your own support network in place? People who will be able to catch you if they see you on the bipolar slide? Maybe even people who can pitch in with you to help out at your cousin's place, to give you a bit of down time?