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I found a free way to look up my ex's docket sheets. I found this because I needed to look up my own.
I was always wondering how long he had in jail and what his charges were. Well docket sheets are not straight forward but I got the idea. Looks like he'll be in jail long enough that I don't have to lose sleep at night yet.
I never asked him and he never told me. I wish he had so I could have stressed a little less. He is my worse night mare. Why do I still contact him? Because he's my childrens father. Like it or not.
At first I hid from my children the fact that I know where he is. But I decided it was better to let my daughter write him letters (that I intercept and read). My son as it turns out could care less about his father and has no plans to write him. He doesn't remember him. I'm sure he has other feelings he's not sharing.
So was this nosy? And why did I care? I have no feelings left for him. But I still have nightmares.
I could get into more of our history but I don't care to look back. Too many painful memories.
I've even been quite nasty towards him in letters even after I re wrote them and toned them down. I try not to be. I don't hate him it's just that when I think about him and the things he writes it incites rage with in me. This is something I know that is my problem. I need to work on it and letting my anger go.
I didn't know I had so much anger but now that My ex is slapping me in the face with his existence I'm finding out I still have a lot of rage left in me.
I was so much happier not knowing he was alive or where he was at. I could pretend he was dead and I didn't have to deal with anything. But I always secretly knew there would come a day when my ex would come back into my world.
I'm also terrified of him because I've seen first hand all the damage he has done. Not just to me but even people who were just his friends. He is a life destroyer. That's why I'm concerned about his interaction with my children.
Is it wrong of me to monitor the letters going to and from my daughter and her father?
sorry for the long one.
I was always wondering how long he had in jail and what his charges were. Well docket sheets are not straight forward but I got the idea. Looks like he'll be in jail long enough that I don't have to lose sleep at night yet.
I never asked him and he never told me. I wish he had so I could have stressed a little less. He is my worse night mare. Why do I still contact him? Because he's my childrens father. Like it or not.
At first I hid from my children the fact that I know where he is. But I decided it was better to let my daughter write him letters (that I intercept and read). My son as it turns out could care less about his father and has no plans to write him. He doesn't remember him. I'm sure he has other feelings he's not sharing.
So was this nosy? And why did I care? I have no feelings left for him. But I still have nightmares.
I could get into more of our history but I don't care to look back. Too many painful memories.
I've even been quite nasty towards him in letters even after I re wrote them and toned them down. I try not to be. I don't hate him it's just that when I think about him and the things he writes it incites rage with in me. This is something I know that is my problem. I need to work on it and letting my anger go.
I didn't know I had so much anger but now that My ex is slapping me in the face with his existence I'm finding out I still have a lot of rage left in me.
I was so much happier not knowing he was alive or where he was at. I could pretend he was dead and I didn't have to deal with anything. But I always secretly knew there would come a day when my ex would come back into my world.
I'm also terrified of him because I've seen first hand all the damage he has done. Not just to me but even people who were just his friends. He is a life destroyer. That's why I'm concerned about his interaction with my children.
Is it wrong of me to monitor the letters going to and from my daughter and her father?
sorry for the long one.
If she is still pretty young, I'd say YES, reading the letters before they are Posted might be a good idea.
Also, I would consider the fact that she might give away where you live , and it seems you don't want the EX to know where you live ?
Don't think ur being nosy at all.
Curiosity? I've looked up Wasbands record, and in a good county - shit, I'll check out a few people's stuff : )
nothing wrong with being curious!
It is not nosy to read the letters. You are monitoring her safety and mental/emotional health! That's our job as mothers.
She's always going to want to have contact with her dad, probably...are you going to monitor it forever...and what are you going to do when she catches you? Because odds are, she will catch you.
You are doing the right thing, doorknob!
With love,
heathercliff
he sounds like a disaster.
grandkids may come around too one day.. you need to know whats up.
Why did I tell her? I guess I felt that hiding it would just make her want to follow her father even more when she did find out.