That is so hurtful and mean... The stigma continues on and on..sigh..
I'm sorry you've been hurt sweetie..xo

Yeah, unfortunately, many people don't give mental illness the same weight as they do a physical disability

If she could spend even just one hour being you, she'd have a totally different opinion about mental illness than she now has!!

You showed great grace. Good on you!!!!

Yep. Being treated this all the time on an ongoing basis can be very, very wearing.

I'm sorry she was 'iggerant'!!

((((((((((Hugs))))))))))

One of the things that I was thinking about while sitting in the hospital was most people when they get out of the hospital with physical maladies get a few days to rest and regroup before easing back into their daily schedule. When we get out of the hospital we are expected to jump right into the regular routine that put us in the hospital to begin with. The world just doesn't get it. There is no parity when it comes to physical vs mental disorders. Choose your battles wisely. Pick the ones that you can gain ground on, and maybe it will have a ripple effect down the line.

I'm sorry for what your grandmother thinks. She is not very well educated on the topic of disabilities. The question is, how badly do you want her to "get it" and in what type of forum do you think it is best to bring it up with her. I know how much it hurts. Wishing you lots of love. (((hugs)))

(((hugs)))

i get it. believe me.

Hi Door~~

I'm sorry you had to endure your step-grandmother's hurtful comment. Are you sure every one in the family feels that way?

We know what it's like to live with bipolar and you know your truth. That's what's important. Hang in there!

Well you can always say in a gathering that you dont thing step grandmothers are REALL grandmothers hahahahahaha.

I am having crapppy things going on in my life right now (non Bipolar-"lets get an attorney type stuff) and part of me is saying "be mature just walk away.

so maybe the best thing is to just "walk away mentally from it". If she makes more remarks jus say yes he really does have a disability do you sign with him? " Or what ever. Just blow it off.

If anyone comes directly at you with comments just tell them itis too difficult to explain because people WONT understand so you would rather not discuss it. And then don't talk about it.

People are SH**TS. Would I go up to a 84 year old step granmother and say "why do you have a mustache? or why do you smell like urine and baby powder? They are allowed to get away with things to us but we arent allowed to say things to them.

Oh well

Hugs

Ash--I am sorry you are hurting & hope you have cooled off by now. Her words stung and were rude, but consider the source. A lot of people are ignorant and uninformed...and probably have no desire to ever become enlightened.

AND, She probably offended more people than just you.

Her step grandson might object to being called disabled. Most deaf people do NOT consider themselves disabled.

((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))

People expect me to be able to work, I lost my job and will soon be homeless. People say why don't I get another job. I tell them I'm too sick to work but they say if I could walk 3 miles a day I must be ok. They don't understand at all

In families, each person comes to the table with a set of good things that they have done and a set of bad things that they have done. Many times, people don't know how to handle situations or they get caught up in the moment and they make bad choices.

When one person A hears of another person B's situation, person A will often be insecure themselves and sometimes without meaning to, person A will start thinking about their own mistakes and they will begin to feel regret and shame. To make themselves feel better, they try that self satbotage of SELF RIGHTOUS INDIGNATION which always backfires on all people.

You must live your life for you. Relatives who prey upon other's circumstances are, I hate to say it, not worth your time. This is the truth.

As for weight, that happens with age and it is indeed a hard thing to deal with. I deal with weight and my friends who are all 40 and above deal with weight and some of us do alright and others of us dont'. One of us is on a shake and bar diet under the care of a doctor. I worry for that girl on that diet each day. She commutes and is a school teacher.

People need to understand that weight gain happens. It just does. All that we can do is excersise and try to eat a reasonable diet.

You are not lazy; you have a bonifide disability. I have a disability that has nearly cost me my family and we are having the MIL to help us right now. Both myself and my husband are disabled to an extent and we have to have relatives help us to think and to know how to navigate things like mortgages, home improvements and bank accounts. Disability can take many forms.

Now, I do have friends on disability who do work-at about twenty hours a week. Two have schitzoaffective and they are a scanning person (scans documents) and an apparel clerk respectively. Another lady works as a short order cook which I do NOT reccomend. The short order cook is part Apache and regardless of her heart condition, she will do what she will do and no one can "stop" her as she puts it.

Other folks with disabilities whom I know do volunteer work or they paint. There are so many things that you can do on disability.

I say that you can politely tell them that this is a new beginning for you and that disabilities can take many forms. You can tell them that you would love for them to share in your life but that if they cannot accept what has happened that sadly, you won't be able to deal with negativity.

Good luck to you,
Achala