Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I know no one on hear, really wants to hear this rant or cares that this is cause me to loose myself but I need to get it out, I feel like laying in my bed and just crying for days! I can't have a mental break before I start my new job, I can't have a mental break at all.
This entire thing, just make me feel like there's an easier way out and that I am the only one that cares ( Between only me and Talon, I know his mother is trying to make things be okay too).
Well Here is my rant to my SIL. There are names in here, so ignore those.
Just a little rant about thing that may or may not happen. The Landlord for that place, Joe saw, said if Marilyn wants it she can have it today. ((we can't do it that soon because we need to pack, and Marilyn is going to see if he'll do it for the 15th, so me and her can pack up the house)) Well, I offer Marilyn 2000 ( which will leave me exactly enough to pay my bills until my first paycheck, its cutting it close but it can be done with no extra spending). Well, I told talon that I offer her 2000 ( she said she may not even need that much). and Talon turned into a dick! Every month we stay here, Barb can hold more over us with the rent payment. AND ALL OUR NAMES are on the lease, so Its just not Marilyn responsibility!!! ! We all signed the lease. He is not thinking about his family or more importantly, His SON! In Life, you got to PAY if you want something better without the stress of someone closing to the door and handing you papers, saying you got to get out. AND the money in our account is my extra GRANT money!!! AND THE ACCOUNT IS IN MY NAME TOO! So I can do as I please and whats in the best interest of David! (( A roof over his head is the most important thing to me, as it should be to a parent)). It pisses me off that he cares so much about a number in an account, when we are facing not having a home and for not just Marilyn but all three of us, having more money, we need to pay back. The court may have told us to stop paying, but that doesn't mean that we would owe the money to the Nutter (barb) when the courts are done with her. The less money owe back the better. Yes, we will have to pay rent again when we move, but in my mind, its better to pay then risk, staying until the papers are served and only having a short time to find a place and get out.
I fucking hate money- but this is life, everything cost something and you have to do what you got to do. 2000 is a small price for security for David (( and the rest of us )). If this man accept us, I feel its a good decision. We spoken to two of this renters, one that was renting from him for 5 years and the other that was there since Dec. Both told us, he is a great landlord and get stuff fixed in a timely manner and is great to work with.
I know you don't want to hear this all, but I am upset that your friend/brother has to be him. I think a roof is better then pissing away the money on whatever. Marilyn may not even need that much, but why not let it be available to her if she does. I decision to take Talon out of the decision and do what I feel is best for this, if and when it is needed.
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we all know living from Paycheck to paycheck sucks, but we all got to do it and before the 30th of March, I will have a paycheck and our bills can be pay on time for April, and there will be extra for food and whatever else is needed. So what is the problem? I don't get it, we done it before paycheck to paycheck and we did it alright ( until I went off the deep end- but we are going to try to avoid that from now on. I am not going anyway, so his income is staying- I am going to stay at well fargo, I will not have a nutter attack this time) He needs to help me not have one by not being him when it comes to money and helping me get to work so I can bring in the majority of our income. I don't think its too much to ask of him if I am the bread winner for now. Yes, I need to take the drivers test, but he'll still have to take me until we can afford a second car. If he would let me drive ( every time I ask, he said not this time. So after hearing this every time I asked, I stopped asking- I need to drive more so when I take the test, I don't have bad anxiety)
Now I am rambling about all the shit on my mind. Right now, something good needs to happen because I feel like I am about to break. Getting the job was a great thing but it didn't start yet. I ruined my life and now I am paying for it. literally and figuratively. Can't die til I get life insurance and then I got to make it look like an accident. LOL ( That was a joke)
Well, disregard this, I am just venting to the only two people I think will see it my way. ( Marilyn agrees to but she is doing her thing to make it Talon's way, talking about just waiting until the last minute to get out.I personally think the risk is to high doing it that way!My mental health can't handle worrying every night in bed about David having a roof and a room.) I like this house we are in alot, I wish we could stay, but that is not the case. we just can't, so we got to do what we got to do.
I just want everything to be okay and stop the worrying and stress. I love him but why can't he be a more selfless man, instead of SELFISH!
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This entire thing, just make me feel like there's an easier way out and that I am the only one that cares ( Between only me and Talon, I know his mother is trying to make things be okay too).
Well Here is my rant to my SIL. There are names in here, so ignore those.
Just a little rant about thing that may or may not happen. The Landlord for that place, Joe saw, said if Marilyn wants it she can have it today. ((we can't do it that soon because we need to pack, and Marilyn is going to see if he'll do it for the 15th, so me and her can pack up the house)) Well, I offer Marilyn 2000 ( which will leave me exactly enough to pay my bills until my first paycheck, its cutting it close but it can be done with no extra spending). Well, I told talon that I offer her 2000 ( she said she may not even need that much). and Talon turned into a dick! Every month we stay here, Barb can hold more over us with the rent payment. AND ALL OUR NAMES are on the lease, so Its just not Marilyn responsibility!!! ! We all signed the lease. He is not thinking about his family or more importantly, His SON! In Life, you got to PAY if you want something better without the stress of someone closing to the door and handing you papers, saying you got to get out. AND the money in our account is my extra GRANT money!!! AND THE ACCOUNT IS IN MY NAME TOO! So I can do as I please and whats in the best interest of David! (( A roof over his head is the most important thing to me, as it should be to a parent)). It pisses me off that he cares so much about a number in an account, when we are facing not having a home and for not just Marilyn but all three of us, having more money, we need to pay back. The court may have told us to stop paying, but that doesn't mean that we would owe the money to the Nutter (barb) when the courts are done with her. The less money owe back the better. Yes, we will have to pay rent again when we move, but in my mind, its better to pay then risk, staying until the papers are served and only having a short time to find a place and get out.
I fucking hate money- but this is life, everything cost something and you have to do what you got to do. 2000 is a small price for security for David (( and the rest of us )). If this man accept us, I feel its a good decision. We spoken to two of this renters, one that was renting from him for 5 years and the other that was there since Dec. Both told us, he is a great landlord and get stuff fixed in a timely manner and is great to work with.
I know you don't want to hear this all, but I am upset that your friend/brother has to be him. I think a roof is better then pissing away the money on whatever. Marilyn may not even need that much, but why not let it be available to her if she does. I decision to take Talon out of the decision and do what I feel is best for this, if and when it is needed.
-
we all know living from Paycheck to paycheck sucks, but we all got to do it and before the 30th of March, I will have a paycheck and our bills can be pay on time for April, and there will be extra for food and whatever else is needed. So what is the problem? I don't get it, we done it before paycheck to paycheck and we did it alright ( until I went off the deep end- but we are going to try to avoid that from now on. I am not going anyway, so his income is staying- I am going to stay at well fargo, I will not have a nutter attack this time) He needs to help me not have one by not being him when it comes to money and helping me get to work so I can bring in the majority of our income. I don't think its too much to ask of him if I am the bread winner for now. Yes, I need to take the drivers test, but he'll still have to take me until we can afford a second car. If he would let me drive ( every time I ask, he said not this time. So after hearing this every time I asked, I stopped asking- I need to drive more so when I take the test, I don't have bad anxiety)
Now I am rambling about all the shit on my mind. Right now, something good needs to happen because I feel like I am about to break. Getting the job was a great thing but it didn't start yet. I ruined my life and now I am paying for it. literally and figuratively. Can't die til I get life insurance and then I got to make it look like an accident. LOL ( That was a joke)
Well, disregard this, I am just venting to the only two people I think will see it my way. ( Marilyn agrees to but she is doing her thing to make it Talon's way, talking about just waiting until the last minute to get out.I personally think the risk is to high doing it that way!My mental health can't handle worrying every night in bed about David having a roof and a room.) I like this house we are in alot, I wish we could stay, but that is not the case. we just can't, so we got to do what we got to do.
I just want everything to be okay and stop the worrying and stress. I love him but why can't he be a more selfless man, instead of SELFISH!
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
So with all the stress I'd be surprised if you weren't
having a 'breakdown" or "episode". I firmly believe that crying in bed all day or wishing we were dead can be beneficial in expressing our level of discomfort, as long as we realize the best thing to do is give in to living the best we can and taking care of business.
What's your treatment? You have professionals you can talk to? Just do your best and be happy with yourself for that.
So just know I am praying for you, and hang on tight. No breaks allowed! OK?? (((Hug)))