Never mind. I will be okay. Guess I posted this on the wrong board anyways, huh?

I'm sorry you're having a tough time.

I woke up crying. I haven't done that in a long time. Mine isn't situational. My depression is chemical. It's very frustrating. Everything is going pretty well for the most part. I keep trying to talk myself into being okay. Some people seem so much better at this than me.

You can't talk about your situation? It wouldn't do you some good? I hope things ease up for you soon.

take a deep breath and relax, things will get better soon

I can't stay but I will bump you up a notch. What's wrong?

There is such an unbearable sadness in my chest. And I have tears streaming down my face though I don't want to cry. It is stupid really. I am just so fucking paranoid and mis-think things and drum up shit in my head and then my feelings get all involved and I end up hurting just because of my paranoid. Does that make any sense?

Oh yes. I hate that feeling. I can't stand the anxiety and paranoia. It's the worst. I don't like where I am now with the depression, but I'll take it over the anxiety and paranoia. Do you have anything you can take for it when it gets bad?

You didn't post on the wrong board. We are here to help. If I can help others then maybe I can help myself.
I'm with you. My depression is pervasive. I can't seem to shake it. Everything is a huge chore. I can't handle stress. I fall apart.
But I have to have faith that this will pass.
I have to remember that I do have good days.
This is just part of my disorder.

it make total sense to me. when i get to feeling like that people will say "it will pass, you know it will" WTF when you are in it, you are in it deep and can't find a way out. i have no answers, i just wanted to let you know i understand.

*hugs*
So sorry to hear that you're going through this, is crying helping at all?
If there's anything I can do just yell, I'd be glad to help xoxo

Aww, Zany! I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time. I have been paranoid before and it is horrible. Depression sucks. I've been there...depressed and paranoid isn't a good combination. Do you have a prn med you can take for the anxiety? Last night, I was feeling really overwhelmed by the voices and I took a cold shower and it helped me feel slightly better. Maybe give it a try? I really hope you feel better soon. Love and hugs.

Oh when you feel this bad, everything is colored so dark even on a sunny day. The tears you cry are good ones. They are good because your getting it out, whatever that thing is, to keep it in is too unhealthy.

I have had heart wrenching days when the tears would not stop. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Even when we aren't really there to help you and hold your hand, every connection with another human is precious and people on here care a great deal when someone is in pain.

Have you ever noticed how peaceful you can be after a really gut wrenching cry? I hope for some mercy for you today. Peaceful thoughts I send to you.

Thanks guys for the help. Yes. I know it will pass. I just had a good cry while typing out the message of my heart to a friend and I can breathe a tad bit better and do not feel like I am in so much despair. Though I still have some tears left. Guess I better mop myself up before my husband gets home huh? I hate emotions!! They fucking suck. The bad ones do anyways. Thanks again. Hugs.

hope you feel better zany. maybe you should hang here for awhile if you are in that state where you 'misthink' things. paranoia is a bad place to be. so sorry- sucks. hugz.

Thanks to all who responded to me in my time of need. I appreciate it. I am feeling loads better now. A DS friend of mine who knows about the situatioin messaged with me and then I called her. I have had a good cry and can actually laugh a little bit now whereas I couldn't hardly breathe before. Until later when the next round of paranoia hits ;) Thanks again. Big hugs.

I feel like that, too. I'm recovering from a bout of depression.