I don't think you are being paranoid about her. She doesn't sound trustworthy at all. Your personal business is not her business and you should try to tell her that. I hate confrontation in any form but you have to do what you have to do to help with your recovery and your coping skills.

Your not paranoid she's a snoop and needs to be told to stay out of room and out of your business.

That's the thing- I don't know how to tell her. I'm scared I'll tell her and there'll be tension. I cannot cope in a tense environment. It drives me nuts. I avoid confrontation at all costs, I will let you walk over me, disrespect me as long as we don't have to have any tension between us.

If you have a closet where you can switch out the door knob to a deadbolt you could lock everything up. I think your housemate is acting like an immature bully and the thrill and power she gets from snooping is a problem that won't be solved by asking of telling her to stop. I hope you can get rid of her as a housemate. You have every reason to feel violated.

OMG that's not okay!!!! Can you put a padlock on your bedroom door? I'm serious, I know people who have done that. That way, only you can get in your room bc you have the key. This girl sounds like she is out of control, you are NOT being paranoid!!

Iam I hate confrontation too but I would hate living with someone in my business even worse. How long has she lived with you? Do you know her very well? As much as you hate it just state to her from the heart that you are a very private person and there has to be boundaries if we are going to live together and state that you don't like tension but you need to clear the air with her bc resentment is going to make you feel tension.if you do nothing about it. This is all I know to tell you to do. It sux but you will feel better fro standing up for your rights imo.

Yeah, I think I might get one of those 'treasure' boxes with a padlock and just store my personal stuff in there. The worst part is that she's best friends with my boyfriend and there were times when I wondered if maybe he put her up to it- see what I mean about her fueling the paranoia? But I know he isn't that kinda guy so I brush it off... I do hope he isn't putting her up to it. I wish I knew why she feels the need to snoop though.

Oh, you are in a tricky situation since she's best friend's with your boyfriend. I agree with everybody else get something you can lock things up in and hopefully that will give you some piece of mind. Good luck-sorry your having this problem.

It's getting to the point where I don't want to disclose certain things to him because he might make mention of it to her. He doesn't know about to the multimodal assessment mostly because I'm sure she's mentioned seeing me with 'something' and... Sigh. About to go off on another rant. This is just so fucking frustrating. Why can't she butt the hell out of my life??? I go out of my way to never mention certain friends around her because she has this notion we're 'more than just friends'. It's like I'm living with my mum all over again.

Il take a stab at why she does this, since no privacy was respected in my family. Especially grabbing the envelope out of your hand as if she has a right to know .... how familiar. The reason is in your personal stuff is she was not taught to respect personal property and more importantly there was no consequence for not doing so. It's usually a sign of lazy parents who leave it up to the kids to fight it out and the younger or weaker lose out. Often taunting and humiliation are allowed when personal information is disclosed.

That's why I don't expect asking her or telling her will get you far,
unless there is a severe consequence for one more incident. It's not your job to teach her or socialize her. Call her a snoop in front of others and let her learn.

Funny enough, Pumpkin, the envelope incident happened in a store. We were standing at the cashier when she did it. And I actually said mind your own business when i grabbed it back. I could feel her get tense but that was that. And in regards to your question Nester, I haven't known her long. We've been living together for 4 months but we are around each other almost 24/7. School, home and work. Ugh!

Sounds like you need a new roommate.

Honestly you don't seem like the kind of person that needs a roommate. People who suffer from Paranoia disorders usually have a very hard time living with others.

You can put a "password" protect on your computer so that it can't even be logged on. You can then put a "password protect" on every single document. There is no end of the safety measures you can put on your tablet. If she's finding them out, your either writing them down or your making them far to easy, just like 95% of American usually do. You need to choose password that have absolutely nothing to do with you or your life, etc., and don't write them down.

As for her snooping in your room, you can put a lock in the doorknob and you can put a deadbolt above the knob, with only 1 key that you keep on your person at all times.

Your meds should also be in a safe with a combination lock, with random numbers that only you would know.

As for her snatching your mail out of your hands, you need to be very firm with this person and tell them what the house Rules are. Make a set of Rules, 1 of which needs to be Do Not Ever Touch Me or Snatch My Personal Things from My Hands!

Because if she still gets into stuff, then somehow she's getting you to give her the passwords or the keys.

If you continue to have problems with this person, I'd look real hard into moving and finding a place for just YOU.

kat

Wishing you luck on resolving this thing. It took me months of talking to my msw on how to approach my parents of certain things that I wanted to keep private and they are my parents. Try talking to your therapist about the best way to approach this.

I vote for you locking everything up. This roommate of yours has a personal boundary problem. Sounds like an aggressive controller type who may be hard to deal with if she is given permission to run the show as she would.

Take some action that helps you get a piece of mind.