I have rows with my Gran, but nothing that doesn't heal given time. (I had to sneak behind her so soften just to get out there and explore the area around me)

I have treated friends (well, former friends) badly and was hypersexual with others while i was in a relationship IN FRONT OF my boyfriend. It was virtually impossible to get me to see what i was doing. I did drugs, i spent money, i got myself into very dangerous situations. Ugh. If i could go back with a magic wand....

Ugh, yes, I have. I still feel awful. I traumatized my family and cost them so much money. I totaled my car--thank the stars no one was hurt, and was arrested.

I think about where all that behavior came from. Me, of course. But... I don't know how to think of it all.

My husband and a good friend have been able to piece together stuff for me.

May I ask, is it common to not remember? I see you don't remember stuff, too.

Hugs friend, I'm with you.

I've forgotten a whole heap of what I'd been up to. The few pple I've got left are reluctant to tell me.

Probably for fear of making me feel worse than I already do. Which is miserable. Like Spacekat I wish I had a magic wand to make it all disappear.

Yeah, my life was totally disrupted by mania, until I started using lithium (depakote is an alternative stabilizer) and I recommend finding the good life.

Hi tommytott. I'm on Depakote and rispiridone but I think that the rispiridone has brought me down too far. I'm now going through a med change which is gonna take months. I would love to find the good life. Trouble is that I'm so low that I can't see positivity in anything.

I'm on Risperdal! Also had my Citalopram anti-depressant lowered from 20 mg to 10 mg due to mania.

Oh yeah, more than once. I've kind of accepted it as part of the territory. I hate saying that I am my illness, but sometimes with mania that truly is the case. Thankfully I've had a few good friends stick by because they respected the fact that I was not "me" and understood that, but they still admit they don't ever want to see that again.

I suppose they'll always wonder when Mania Monster will come back.

I kinda remember all my manic bouts and psychotic breaks as times of hazy confusion. I was saying weird things and doing weird things and I don't even want to think about the people who were around at those times. I guess there have been a few people to stick around, but the ones that didn't? I don't try to think about them too much. It's hard. Really hard.

It's a really awful feeling to think about those times. Try and focus on today and the future, where stability can be found with the right combination of things: meds, sometimes therapy, support, relaxation techniques, good sleep....all kinds of good things.

I usually remember my (hypo) manic episodes, but it's kind of bits and pieces. I've lost relationships and have damaged relationships because of both my (hypo)mania and depression. This illness sucks, but like already mentioned, it comes with the territory unfortunately.

If they can not accept you because you have this mental health issue they are not worth your time. Find new friends and other family to support you. We all do things we wish that we hadn't done but people who really understand will always love us. Be yourself and be real you will feel free. Love yourself and accept yourself the way you are. We are all unique in our own way.

Got2breal -- that's easy to say if you've got a supportive family and multiple friends. Sometimes I think i take shit from my friend because she is my only one. She doesn't always accept me and will often make me the butt of a joke in front of another person. I don't want to let her go because then I'll be all alone. I can't find new friends - it's just not a possibility. I don't enter situations that would allow me to find new friends. As for family, i have my hubby whom i love and who loves me and accepts me for who i am. There, I am lucky. But for friends - nope.