Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
From a young age I've been traumatized by abuse. Sexual abuse from a family member, to friends of family. I grew up fantasizing about how life could be if I just ran away from it all.
I got diagnosed May, 7th 2021 with bipolar disorder and ptsd. I was, and still am in complete shock. I always wondered why my emotions seemed to control me. Feeling hopeless, and trying to find comfort in men consumed me.
I grew up in a Muslim middle eastern household, so I spent most of my life living in shame and guilt of the sneaking around. I didn't know it at the time, but I've had a few manic episodes. It was at those times that I felt indestructible. I was promiscuous, taking drugs, had an inflated ego, and energetic. It was, at those times when I felt everything was ok. However, that feeling was soon followed by deep depression.
This is my first post, and I figured I'd give a tiny glimpse into my past. I intend to be transparent and share with everyone my painful, embarrassing and downright terrible experiences. Some, I might add, might sound downright unreal. I just want the pain, fear, doubt, and regret to end so I can live the life I should be living. I'm getting older, and it's time I learn to love myself.
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Which explains the mysterious fevers and my extra fatigue. I'm so glad I pushed for answers.
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Due to my increased paranoia, anxiety, and a panic attack over the weekend, my psychiatrist has put me back in a full dose of Zyprexa until further notice. Every time I think I'm getting ahead something happens and it's back to square one. I knew he was gonna do this but I can't help feeling disappointed. It is what it is.
Welcome to the group.
Good luck with the journey - a year is still only a short time to come to terms with the diagnosis, sort medication and then work on the psychological issues but it seems you have made a good start.
We have a good PTSD board as well..... There's a psycho therapist that works with complex trauma from childhood that's really good online and in books... Pete Walker.... I'll give you a link..... Gentle hug.... xo
http://www.pete-walker.com/flashbackManagement.htm
Your story is similar to mine, despite having different shoe sizes, walking different paths life of bipolar, or manic depression, the old name that describes more clearly what we live with and are dx'd with is Only One Part Of Us.
All your life experience/lessons of wonder and pain are also One Part Of You.
Your Past Is Not Your Identity.
What you do, letting go of the past, Learn From Only.
This action will create the self love you want as you share your understanding and compassion towards all you meet.