Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Part XXV...I'm in a never ending cycle with my recovery journey that I can't seem to get out of. If I am ever going to be triumphant in overcoming my illness I feel I need to gain some type of employment and sustain it, however this is easier said than done and I think I should analyse this before I go down this path yet again.
I wrote in my first book about my attempts to gain employment after an episode, to go through the process of countless interviews and rejection and even when I do land the job it is short lived for I ended up relapsing and losing my job due to illness. I even looked at starting my own business but this failed also.
Now that I am married and basically in a new relationship I have been having a discussion with my wife and she thinks I should go back to work. I thought she was my number one reader, I thought she understood, but I guess she has faith in her man and thinks I am capable.
Well here's the truth...I'M NOT CAPABLE to go back to my old employment in packaging. All those years of training and education in the industry has no place in my current life!
Recently when looking for work she wanted to know why I was ringing packaging manufacturers. The fact is if I didn't get unwell this is what I would be doing and what I am qualified for. My hopes of gaining employment in the mental health industry was just due to my condition. I can't seem to shake it for I have had to educate myself on mental health so I could understand just so that I could try to live a quality of life.
Once again I don't think my wife understands the severity of my condition even though she has already witnessed me having an episode. How do you bounce back like that when I know its just the medication preventing me from going into another episode and if I get any sort of pressure on me it can trigger it.
My head at the moment feels like it wants to explode and I want to put myself out of my misery. My wife and I are now fighting and she is giving me attitude and I have no idea why. I was fucking trying at least! But no it wasn't good enough.
Maybe she thought I would be looking for work in mental health. The fact is I have been for years and I always kept a look out for a position, even volunteering in the area hoping to gain employment later. But nothing has happened. Its not that easy. If they can't find a match for me to work with someone in mental health as a volunteer, then how do I expect to get paid for something that has no demand at this point. Sure I'm trained and ready to go, but no one requires my services.
As my last post suggest, my wife and I are struggling to make ends meet, which is why I started looking for employment, but me looking for a job isn't going to solve the problem. I've been here before when I was single, nothing has changed even though I have the support of my wife. In fact it feels harder now for I feel I am letting someone down and not just myself.
I can't go to an agency to find work for they are linked with the government and the government has found me to have 0% work capacity. They know I would like to return to when I'm doing better, its in their records, but they seen me fall short when this happens also. This is why I am on a Disability Support Pension, for I HAVE A DISABILITY!
I don't know what's going to come of me or my marriage. I have to rely on what I get paid from the government. I volunteer where I can and hope for employment in that field, but until then this is how it is, and if we are struggling to make ends meet, it will have to be up to my wife to gain employment in the future.
Ref: www.boxrep.blogspot.com
I wrote in my first book about my attempts to gain employment after an episode, to go through the process of countless interviews and rejection and even when I do land the job it is short lived for I ended up relapsing and losing my job due to illness. I even looked at starting my own business but this failed also.
Now that I am married and basically in a new relationship I have been having a discussion with my wife and she thinks I should go back to work. I thought she was my number one reader, I thought she understood, but I guess she has faith in her man and thinks I am capable.
Well here's the truth...I'M NOT CAPABLE to go back to my old employment in packaging. All those years of training and education in the industry has no place in my current life!
Recently when looking for work she wanted to know why I was ringing packaging manufacturers. The fact is if I didn't get unwell this is what I would be doing and what I am qualified for. My hopes of gaining employment in the mental health industry was just due to my condition. I can't seem to shake it for I have had to educate myself on mental health so I could understand just so that I could try to live a quality of life.
Once again I don't think my wife understands the severity of my condition even though she has already witnessed me having an episode. How do you bounce back like that when I know its just the medication preventing me from going into another episode and if I get any sort of pressure on me it can trigger it.
My head at the moment feels like it wants to explode and I want to put myself out of my misery. My wife and I are now fighting and she is giving me attitude and I have no idea why. I was fucking trying at least! But no it wasn't good enough.
Maybe she thought I would be looking for work in mental health. The fact is I have been for years and I always kept a look out for a position, even volunteering in the area hoping to gain employment later. But nothing has happened. Its not that easy. If they can't find a match for me to work with someone in mental health as a volunteer, then how do I expect to get paid for something that has no demand at this point. Sure I'm trained and ready to go, but no one requires my services.
As my last post suggest, my wife and I are struggling to make ends meet, which is why I started looking for employment, but me looking for a job isn't going to solve the problem. I've been here before when I was single, nothing has changed even though I have the support of my wife. In fact it feels harder now for I feel I am letting someone down and not just myself.
I can't go to an agency to find work for they are linked with the government and the government has found me to have 0% work capacity. They know I would like to return to when I'm doing better, its in their records, but they seen me fall short when this happens also. This is why I am on a Disability Support Pension, for I HAVE A DISABILITY!
I don't know what's going to come of me or my marriage. I have to rely on what I get paid from the government. I volunteer where I can and hope for employment in that field, but until then this is how it is, and if we are struggling to make ends meet, it will have to be up to my wife to gain employment in the future.
Ref: www.boxrep.blogspot.com
I'm glad that you have the ability to volunteer. I know two people who are in this situation, in my area, and they are not really even fit to do that, it seems. It sounds like you're a tenacious and persistent person, who is striving to improve your situation. I know that it's challenging for one to go back to work, when they know it's going to trigger their condition(s). You're doing the best you can; pat yourself on the back for that. I have also been volunteering for awhile, and have yet to engage in paid work again.
I hope that you are able to work things out.