For tonight not sure you can comfort her - the disillusion even when one knows it is coming is mind numbing and some sort of shock is always possible. Just being there should help tho .

In the coming days even tho in reality she may know it remind her gently that while yes he has a disease that it is he who is responsible in the end for his continuation of it and what it has done to their marriage and the family. So many spouses, parents, kids blame themselves with the if onlys - make sure the boys realize this too.

You and I both know the 5 stages and grief and she is gonna experience them and needs to

Loves to ya - you are a good SIL

I am not so much worried about the little one has I am the oldest, he is the most like J and you know what happened in his life and there is some significant patterns parallelling the two.

Yeah I thought about that and yes there is probably valid reasons for real concern there. Don't assume tho that the little one is ok - I made that mistake and look at her life now. Speaking of J how is he dealing with it?

He is oblivous and in his own little world, which probably isn't a bad idea right now.

We are speaking of J?

I'm sure it's a huge comfort just to have you there for her.