Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
dunno if this should have gone in crisis
dont feel im at that point yet just feel so horrible.
just pretending to cope
being happy for hubby cause it his birthday weekend
laughing at his jokes but its a fake laugh
smiling but its a mask
hiding behind cant let true self through
im falling fast i can feel it
i want to cut but ive been free for so long
i want to od but i cant do that either
pretend im ok dont let the mask slip
i hate myself
dont feel im at that point yet just feel so horrible.
just pretending to cope
being happy for hubby cause it his birthday weekend
laughing at his jokes but its a fake laugh
smiling but its a mask
hiding behind cant let true self through
im falling fast i can feel it
i want to cut but ive been free for so long
i want to od but i cant do that either
pretend im ok dont let the mask slip
i hate myself
I can relate to you very much. When I feel a depression coming on I try to fight it. I sometimes try to do something social, but it is excruciating. I have to put on a mask, as you talked about and it is so uncomfortable! Plus, it didn't keep the depression away or postpone it even. Therefore, I don't do anything social anymore if I feel a depression coming on.
My husband is very knowledgeable about my mood swings and can tell when a depression is coming. I always feel very uncomfortable telling people I am in one or going into one, not sure why. But it is the way it is.
Even though it is his birthday, how do you think your husband would react if you tell him how you're feeling? I know you don't want to spoil his birthday, but how would he feel if he knew your smiles are a facade?
miss my daughter. I'm fighting all kinds of emotions and stuff inside but trying to stay " normal" for those around me so I don't ruin their day/ vacation dads doing slit for me and i'm grateful. I don't know why I get this way one minute everything is fine. The next i'm fighting inner turmoil .