Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I feel as thought my life is a never ending cycle of medications to make me normal. I loathe the fact that I have to take numerous pills throughout the day, just so I can get through the day. The thought is really very sickening. Between my anxiety and bi-polar... I wonder if I will ever be okay. What does "Normal" even feel like? I've been to so many doctors and therapists I am even beginning to see myself as a diagnosis, not a person. I don't know how to think any other way. I'm scared to be happy, because the doctors call me manic, and I hate feeling sad. I mean really, who likes to feel sad? Haha. But every day its a routine; wake up and pop some pills. I so envy the people who don't have to live as such. On top of the bi-polar and anxiety medications, I have a rather large list of medical pills I have to take. Three a day for pain, one to prevent a gout attack. All and all, I end up taking eleven pills every single day. I just turned 21 years old. Is this any way for me to be living? I just want to be rid of the pills. Live a happy, healthy, NORMAL life. But I know, in reality, that will never happen for me. I will always have to be on some sort of medication. I start to lose hope after a while. I stop to see the point in every day life when I have to rely on pills for my life to even start. I know there are plenty of others out there in similar shoes as I... But I always seem to feel so alone and empty. I don't even know who I am anymore. Is this me? Or is it just my pill cocktail? Does anyone else ever feel this way? Please let me know I am not alone.
I am so not your conventional person - trust me on that one and my children where not raised in a conventional house. I have lived life on my terms always. Never gave a flying fuck what anyone thought of me and taught them early on as long as they were true to themselves and their beliefs and werent mean to those to others then all was good.
These days you would think that they grew up in an entirely different household. They both spend way too much time consumed with what those around them think. I try to tell them god girls do you really think that you are that special that the world has taken time out of its busy day to give a fuck whether or not your earings match, how you vote or if your mother is sleeping with women? And even if the world does notice its not gonna matter.
I was a dancer for 19 years but I als held down some higher management jobs and worked for the state for 7 years and thru it all I never sold out for anyone. When I leave this world I will leave as I lived on my terms I may not be the most liked person but hell thats ok wasn't in it because its a popularity cntest - its not. Was in it because its supposed to be enjoyed
Raven
(((((((((hug)))))))
andrea
I just want to sleep soundly because that is what keeps me sane. I can't do that with addictive sleeping pills destroying my liver. Other than Synthroid, every drug I have taken has harmed me in a major way.
I think you need to start managing your illnesses. I totally understand that we trust doctors, esp. with multiple illnesses like me, and we end up a medicated mess. Getting the Pharmaceutical Handbook from my Pharmacist that they and the doctors use has helped me realize that half my meds were to stop side effects from other drugs. We are going to be starting a self management bipolar support group for those of us who have been able to get bp med free. We still need support and help. I don't know if you can do it. It isn't easy. It takes a lot of work, careful eating, sleeping, exercise, spirituality and support. Just a thought for you.
I seriously do not think on the main board we should be advocating that anyone just up and stop taking their BP meds sorry just my opinon on the subject and as always we are free to our own opinions on everything but none of us are med doctors and even if we are we arent each others doctors and saying anything about giving up ones BP meds is a risky thing at best
What works for one may not (and I honestly think ISNT gona) work for another. . .
I have two kids to take care of.... i can't be numb to them.
I dont know how it is in your case, but i've lived so long with the disease as some call it of Bi-polar and have never been medicated that I'm now questioning the medication. I only looked into help for myself b/c my father who also had a similar diagnosis as i do committe suicide in 2005 and it reallyh started to scare me.
So I'm sorry i can't offer any advice. Rahter i can tell you I'm young and in the same boat as you. And the thought of being on meds forthe rest of my life scafres me.
~michelle