Based on my experience a counselor associated with the church will see your situation from the church's point of view.
A private counselor will have a more neutral perspective.

First since you seem to be a church going person, I'd get on my knees and pray that God leads you to the correct person for you. Hand it over to God and he will guide you. I have never heard a voice, but I have had strong feelings to go one way or the other on various things I've prayed on.

Since you have already shown an interest in a counselor associated with a church, this maybe a good idea for you. I'm not sure a person in your church would be a good idea, but sometimes churches have counselors that they refer people to because they are a Christian based counselor.

If you don't want to go down the road of your history, I would share that with you counselor immediately. They may be able to convince you it may be needed to some degree or they may agree.

You will need to feel comfortable with the person. When my husband and I went for marriage counseling years ago we went with a counselor recommended by the church. A lot of our problems were worked out on the thirty minute drive to her office and the thirty minute drive returning from her office. As I said if you pray, God answers your prays sometimes in ways you wouldn't expect.

After my breakdown I went to a few different therapists. The first one was very harsh, opinionated, and insulting to my religious beliefs. I respected his wish to believe as he did, but he did not do the same for me.

I went to a different therapist who was good for a while until my borderline controling ways messed up our relationship. I'm also borderline.

My third therapist was a doctor who specialized in borderlines. I think she knew so much about us that she was already scared of me. She liked me too much and was amazed with how borderline I really was. I completely ruled the sessions. She offered more sessions for free during her lunch hour so she could work with me more. I didn't like here being so interesting in me or thinking I was so wonderful. We borderlines have a hard time accepting compliments. It was not the correct timing for us. We maybe able to work together in the future. For now I will try the person my pdoc. recommended. I will not be afraid to walk away. I want my pdoc. I think he wants to take me on but gets caught in my borderline web too much. He is smart enough to slip away.

Good Luck if you pray God will lead you,
Tamara

I agree with reply #1
A nuetral counsellor has the advantage of not even knowing you or your beliefs. It is like a clean slate. I had a bad experience when I tried to talk to someone about things once who was "in the church" and everything I spoke of, he would just say leave it in the hand sof the lord...well that stratagy left me worse off. If you have ins start looking at their list of providers. I was lucky in that another counselor I knew told me how good one of her collegues was so i went to see him, that was a year and a half ago and I love him to death. I can talk to him about anything and everything and is not judgemental, works me through things and encourages me every step of my way. If you don't like the 1st one you see, it is YOUR RIGHT to switch. Just don't give up until you find one who suits YOUR needs. If it is a church counsellor that is fine, just be open. Persoanlly I wouldn't want to go to my own churches advisors, too many people know what goes on and that would bother me a lot. I like the anonymity I get by going private.

Hello,

I encourage you to make a list of the things that you would like in a therapist. It would also be helpful for you to have given some thought to the goals that you have for yourself in therapy. Of course these may change over time, but atleast you have a starting point.

Second what is important in a therapist is that they are trained in the field and have a licese to practice. Sometimes church counselors do not have this training. However, there are also many who have the appropriate training.

If you go with a therapist from the church consider what that relationship might look like. There will be dual roles. This might prove uncomfortable over time. However there may be therapists who come from that theological perspective who are not members of your chuch. This might fit the bill.

I could not ask for a better therapist. She knows me better than any one else in the world. I have shared so many private and personal things with her. I trust is implicitaly. In fact I trust her more than I have ever trusted anyone else in my life. However, if we had some sort of relationship outside of therapy that would be very uncomfortable for me -- whether it be the same gym, hobby related group, same dentist or doctor, etc...

Finally remember that you have the right to use the first session as an interview. If you have goals in mind it will make "interviewing" the person easier.

Therapy is a dynamic negotiation. If you do not get a sense that that person sees it that way then maybe that is not a good situation. What I mean is that it is not healthy for the therapist to take total control of the sessions. Your needs and concerns need to shape the work you do together.

Hope this helps,

Blossom.

Do not pray. Be proactive. Think, ask questions, make the pros/cons list, and if you are still undecided, go with your gut.

Sometimes is takes a couple of counselors to find the right one. A good counselor should not push you and let you unfold your life as you like. You will have to go through some normal questions about yourself and how you have been doing but your counselor has to start somewhere.

Good Luck in your search!

I recently started with a new counselor; church related. I have known her since 1990 and therefore she and I have a history. Having worked as an Office Manager in a Pastoral Care/Hospital setting. I was seeking this type of counseling experience. The counselor assisted in getting a church to sponsor my visits for one year.

My former counselor, that I stopped seeing. Was on a church property, but did not use Pastoral Counseling. She used the Jung approach instead. Whatever the 'heck' that is? Talk therapy, I guess?

Don't try to hide history if it needs to be worked through with counseling. Cover what makes you feel comfortable and no more.

I have been a Christian all my life, but have never found a skilled counselor among the "christian counseling" ranks. The skill and experience of the counselor is their most important attribute, not their knowledge of the Bible or how much they pray. A good counselor sets the agenda of your therapy based on what you need and what you hope to accomplish, not according to their own belief system. Granted, they should not be antagonistic towards clients with a personal faith system - a good counselor knows faith makes for a more successful recovery for the mentally ill. Use your mind, your intuition, your senses, pick wisely, pick carefully.