Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
*UPDATE* I feel better now and every thing was resolved. The reply was able to help me slow down and address one thing at a time which allowed me to voice my anxiety and stress to my spouse one thing at a time and diffuse my panic attack. I am really grateful for this community.
Before my new medicine dosing 6 weeks ago. My mother was in town. My routine was off, we were out of the house all day every day and I was already so tired cause my dosing was not right yet. I was crying and breaking down a lot from the stress. After she went home a few days later my son was admitted into the Childrens Psych for depression hitting a low. That was over a week and a half keeping up with getting his treatment plan in order. At the end of that week with him is when my doctor upped my dose and we evaluated my meds. Then came the dosing incident that threw my body off making it where I had to miss my morning dose due to issues filiing my script and could not take my mood stabalizer until later that evening. It took me a extra few weeks to readjust and now we are all caught up.
What is stressing me out is finally this week my Medicine is balancing me out and I feel really good. Through all the chaos I have finally been getting myself able to start settling into a routine. I just started to really sink in and get on that right path to get into a routine I need. Which feels good because you know the relief your mind and body starts to feel when you are able to begin doing that. All I had left to do was organize my bathroom a little bit so I can get back to my skin care routine. Then that was really it and I would have my full routine established.
NOW I am stressing because my husband wants to go to his parents house tomorrow when our kids get out of school and stay until the next day in the afternoon. It is not close by. It is a 3 hour and 30 minute trip away from home. The in laws house is not child proofed so it is a lot of extra work keeping up with our toddler. My husband and I are in a rocky place where is is asking for a lot of space and burned out from having to do most of the work in the home while I have been sick these few years pre diagnosis so I know watching the little one is all going to be on my for the 24 hour duration. Keeping him calm so every one else can enjoy themselves. Our cat will be staying at home alone for the first time and he is also my emotional support animal so I wont have him to comfort me ( he is not allowed at their home, only our dog. They aren't allergic and I think they said he would have to be declawed to be allow to come but, thats cruel and another debate for another time. He is a good cat and does not scratch badly). With all that on my mind. It adds even more stress that my routine is going to get completely thrown off balance again and its going to take weeks to adjust. again and then right when I get comfortable the stress of the holidays is going to kick in.
All of this is overwhelming ontop of, I have been trying to build my wardrobe up to help my self esteem and dress better to feel better. I have a whole organized plan on items to get. I was excited all week because the Ralph Lauren trench coat to complete my wardrobe goals was on sale this week and I got $30 from honey to use towards it to make it cost even less.I have been planning and going over our budget for weeks and now Its not gonna happen because we have to take that money to buy, a second litter box, double the litter and pay for gas to go to my in- laws for the night.
That is all my stress jotted down in a way that makes sense. Built up stress, Last minute change, routine off balance and dissapointment on things falling through. It's just so many things at once. I feel obligated to go because our oldest is going to stay with his grandma and do his school year with her so she can help him with his depression and he can get his vitamin d up in the Arizona sun. So we need to take him to see his grandparents here before he takes off. His parents have been nagging us to come stay the night and our cat has been a issue for them on why we can't come. They fight ( my in laws) we almost left earlier on christmas because it was so uncomfortable our toddler broke down in tears. Then we stayed and it was made even worse with my husband making us sit down and but, into their conversation telling them not to fight like we were Dr. Phil.
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
I know when I was going through initial diagnosis,’so many people in my life had opinions about my treatments or where I was. You have to sort of learn and develop and grow the true supports and that requires time and efforts. So please go easy on yourself in the beginning! Hugs!
I will go easy on myself and now I am going to try to start slow and be in the moment. Getting this all out really is helping. Too many things happening but, others around me who don't know what its like to go through this don't realize how much it all impacts me and how difficult it is. I am happy to be apart of this community and feel that understanding and knowing you aren't alone.
I'm so sorry to read your son has such bad depression issues.....keep writing as needed for 'your' best interests, you won't be alone during the visit, you'll have support from us.
What you said about going every day with mom unbalancing you - that is a thing you can set a limit on. I can no longer go out to do things on 2 consecutive days without it throwing me down incredibly hard, emotionally. (Apparently I am the cautionary tale person in group - "Ya keep going and your gonna end up like p4s. tsk tsk" yup) You have to protect that boundary because the people you love can't see what it is actually tearing up in you and they will think that pushing you to 'be active' will help instead.
Do you think hubs will let you out of this trip with no hard feelings about it?
1.You have been running on fumes as far as people-ing/activities. Only you know how this effects you so YOU have to make your refresh breaks and people that love you HAVE to let you. If not, you will break down and end up being a shell of yourself No one wants/needs that!
2. Being around his parents is another whole load of unneccessary pressure that is manageable but when you are not dealing with so much like you are now. The point of it is for your son to visit, not for you, right? It's not you trying to "get out of it" cuz they kinda suck It's you taking time to gain the strength to keep well enough to keep being productive and striving for balance.
3. 6 weeks in on meds isn't quite enough time (nor the right time) to test out pushing your stress levels like this. They have always told me to allow 2 months to have it operating with full effect.
4. With everything you are going through, your plate is too full already to heap on more beans.
Bless your cat! Animals make the best humans! lol It's 1 day trip? If you MUST go because you can't get this through to hubs (and Gid bless if that is the case) is another box necessary? Even if your cat poops truckloads or is finicky about going in box that has 2 poops, you might debate whether the time it takes to clean up random around house poops is worth doing in order to still get that coat. The coat could last ages and give you enjoyment. Cats - they can put up with a little (a lot, actually) inconvenience far better than humans.
Think about what you really need that will keep you pretty calm & peaceful, low-stress. Then make a good case for yourself to hubs. Honey, you're sick. It's a chronic illness, and people will sometimes need to accomodate that. I know your hubs has before diagnosis, but just having a name for it doesn't change the facts.
I have been where you are like, a thousand times. So many if those times I didn't consider what I needed and tried to keep everyone else happy with me. It's an unattainable goal that will take a huge part of you (parts that you love and need) away from you.
When you throw all of life's problems together into one big melting pot you can start to catastrophize and this hurts you.... One thing at a time is much more manageable
I also agree that 6 weeks is a very short time to be trying to find some stability with bipolar disorder
Another hug..... I hope that you can actually have some good moments this weekend .... Deep breaths.... You can do this..... xo
Start saying "chemical imbalance". Scientifically speaking (sort of cuz my phrasing coming up lol), somewhere in your brain functions your brain's chemical reactions have gone wonky causing your synapses to misfire and getting the wrong output so manifests as an emotional imbalance.
Tada! Science, yo!!
Easier for people to get that there is an actual physical cause they can sort of pinpoint than the common misconception of some mysterious "mood" thing. ;)