Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I feel like I'm going to scream. How many times through out my life am I going to have to "come to terms" with being bipolar?! I think I'm fine, that I can accept who and what I am, then every couple of years something happens and this stupid fucking illness slaps me in the face.
I was doing so well. I had made peace with being born this way and even taking joy in some of the positive sides of it. Then I turned 26. Because I'm unemployed I've been under my parents insurance, but turning 26 put an end to that. Now I'm almost out of meds, and I can't get more until I go and see my doctor. An appointment with her costs roughly $300 without insurance and that's not including the cost of my medication. I have maybe a dollar in silver change to my name.
Now I'm one of the lucky ones. My loved ones are willing, in fact they're insisting that they help me pay for this until I find a way to get health insurance. I'm grateful for their support, I know that there are plenty of people who don't have that, but that's not why I'm upset.
I'm upset because of the whole goddamn situation. I hate being at the mercy of two fucking pills every day. I hate that I need doctors approval just to stay sane. I hate that it costs me to want to live, that I can't make a single stupid plan without first having to consider how I'll get my meds that day. I hate that if I miss a dose I start to feel "wrong", that things start to look different and my hard won control over my thoughts and feelings starts to slip.
And most of all, I hate how everyone and their mothers feel the need to comfort me on the rare occasions when I voice my outrage by saying "I know" or "I understand how you feel". I want to scream at that "Fuck you!!! Bullshit you understand! Do you have a mental illness? Do you have to take pills so you don't go crazy and try to hurt yourself? Do you know what it's like to constantly fear that you'll end up back in hell just because you were unlucky enough to get bad genes? Keep your fucking sympathy and your understanding and shove it!"
But I can't say that. Wouldn't want to be rude or upsetting, now would I? Especially because that'll just make them think that I'm going off the deep end again and make them ask that never ending question "Are you taking your meds Bree?"
God, it's been 11 years since I found out that I'm bipolar and yet this rage never really goes away. Neither does the fear or sadness. You can hide it, suppress it, maybe even learn to accept it for awhile, but can you ever really be free from it?
I was doing so well. I had made peace with being born this way and even taking joy in some of the positive sides of it. Then I turned 26. Because I'm unemployed I've been under my parents insurance, but turning 26 put an end to that. Now I'm almost out of meds, and I can't get more until I go and see my doctor. An appointment with her costs roughly $300 without insurance and that's not including the cost of my medication. I have maybe a dollar in silver change to my name.
Now I'm one of the lucky ones. My loved ones are willing, in fact they're insisting that they help me pay for this until I find a way to get health insurance. I'm grateful for their support, I know that there are plenty of people who don't have that, but that's not why I'm upset.
I'm upset because of the whole goddamn situation. I hate being at the mercy of two fucking pills every day. I hate that I need doctors approval just to stay sane. I hate that it costs me to want to live, that I can't make a single stupid plan without first having to consider how I'll get my meds that day. I hate that if I miss a dose I start to feel "wrong", that things start to look different and my hard won control over my thoughts and feelings starts to slip.
And most of all, I hate how everyone and their mothers feel the need to comfort me on the rare occasions when I voice my outrage by saying "I know" or "I understand how you feel". I want to scream at that "Fuck you!!! Bullshit you understand! Do you have a mental illness? Do you have to take pills so you don't go crazy and try to hurt yourself? Do you know what it's like to constantly fear that you'll end up back in hell just because you were unlucky enough to get bad genes? Keep your fucking sympathy and your understanding and shove it!"
But I can't say that. Wouldn't want to be rude or upsetting, now would I? Especially because that'll just make them think that I'm going off the deep end again and make them ask that never ending question "Are you taking your meds Bree?"
God, it's been 11 years since I found out that I'm bipolar and yet this rage never really goes away. Neither does the fear or sadness. You can hide it, suppress it, maybe even learn to accept it for awhile, but can you ever really be free from it?
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
Vent.. vent...vent.... It can feel really good to let it out
If you re post this on the main board more people will see it....A lot of people on here know different programs and ways people can get meds and medical care at discount costs or even free....x
I'm going to re post this on the main board like you suggested SunCloud. It certainly can't hurt to get suggestions regarding affordable health care.
there are people who have physical problems, who half to take 2 meds a day. 1 med for illness, n other med for depression because of illness they get depressed too.
Every state has a state funded mental health center. it goes by different names. being that they are state funded they can not refuse anybody treatment.
Even if a person, lets say is homeless n doesn't have income nor a penny. the state funded center can not refuse treatment.
The centers as with most Dr offc can assist a person w sighing up for medication assistance.
Most of centers also provide transportation for their clients.
Nothing is free. if your staying w your parents r whoever. n your do their laundry n some sort of task on reg bases. have that person to give you a rent recite.
ID, rent recite, street address, service w state funded mental health center, medication assistance n maybe food assistance, housing assistance : ) I assume that your family would assist w uilitys. far less ccostly than Dr appt.'s n med.'s n food.
I would rather be BP than have grandma's 3 , 5 r more times a day.
I think that it is a must n that it is healthy to vent. to get it out...
then take a nap, then have snack w diet coke.
X