Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Part XXI...Women!!!! ARRRRGGGHHH!!!!
Looking at the big picture I have given all that I can to my wife and I've looked after her as best I can since she left her own country to live with me in Australia.
We have done a lot in the short time we have been together. I have basically guaranteed her permanent residency in Australia. This took a lot of commitment as well as my life savings. We have a new home which has all the necessary furnishings and all the mod cons.
I knew it would be a difficult transition for my wife, the culture in Australia is completely different to the Philippines. We are not living in any of the Australian major cities for we are basically living in country South Australia. It can be quite quiet out here but its just the way I like it unlike Manila where people and traffic are everywhere.
My wife and I "play" a lot always making jokes and basically much around, but when we argue its terrible, it cuts through me like a knife.
So the story goes like this, yesterday I had my parents over for a roast and everything was fine. After lunch I went back to my parents place and Maria went to a fellow Filipino that lives down the road from us. I got Maria and Janitta to contact each other about a week ago just so Maria had someone to speak her native tongue too. I had gone to the the extent of going to the local coffee shop to ask the owners there if they knew any Filipinos in the area, this is where they gave me Janitta's number.They have spent a lot of time together the past few days and Janitta appears to be looking out for my wife, which is exactly what I wanted for her.
So last night we both get home and everything is fine, we even made love before we fell asleep. This morning we both wake up and go about making breakfast. By mid morning we are both sitting on the lounge watching TV. Its winter here and the weather is quite cold and it has been raining today which hasn't helped with either of our moods. I was watching the sports channel looking at all the tributes coming in for Muhammad Ali and generally catching up on the weekends sport. In a commercial break I got up and went outside for a smoke and came back in to find Maria changed the channel, I grabbed the remote and told her I was watching the other station and I changed the station back.
I can read my wife's face like a book, and her face turned into a big sooky lala face. My poor little wife didn't get to watch what she wanted to watch on TV. I couldn't reserve my anger when I saw this, I mean I'm at wits end, I have done all I can to make her happy! But you fucking can't make women fucking happy! They are a different breed to us men! I threw the remote near here and told her she could have the fucking remote then!
Whenever I raise my voice at my wife she does the worse thing she could possibly do, she gives me the silent treatment. She has done this since as long as I know her, and this just makes me worse!! I ended up yelling a few more obscenities before I tried to leave to my parents place. Typical of us men, we feel we have to leave our own fucking home!
So I went to drive to my parents place to get some air since I have given up drinking and couldn't go to the pub to drink. ON my way there I noticed Mum driving in the opposite direction. I turned around thinking they were going to my place, but they drove right past the turn off.
When I got home I rang my parents looking to see where they were going. They were on their way to my brothers place and DAd had to get some blood tests. The next thing I know I get into a conversation with MUm and I start arguing with her! I've seriously had enough of women including my own mother.
Since my wife wasn't talking to me and my Mum was just arguing with me I decided to ring a Men's Line. You wouldn't believe it, a fucking woman answered!! So I take a breath and try to talk to her, the next thing you know she is accusing me of abusing my wife...
GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!!!!
I better stop typing before I break this fucking laptop!!!
I've given everything to my wife, I've made changes for her!! I've done all I can, if she don't like it...SHE can fuck off back to her own country and leave me the fuck alone!! She has her passport, she has a return ticket, see ya fucking later, cos I've had enough!!
Looking at the big picture I have given all that I can to my wife and I've looked after her as best I can since she left her own country to live with me in Australia.
We have done a lot in the short time we have been together. I have basically guaranteed her permanent residency in Australia. This took a lot of commitment as well as my life savings. We have a new home which has all the necessary furnishings and all the mod cons.
I knew it would be a difficult transition for my wife, the culture in Australia is completely different to the Philippines. We are not living in any of the Australian major cities for we are basically living in country South Australia. It can be quite quiet out here but its just the way I like it unlike Manila where people and traffic are everywhere.
My wife and I "play" a lot always making jokes and basically much around, but when we argue its terrible, it cuts through me like a knife.
So the story goes like this, yesterday I had my parents over for a roast and everything was fine. After lunch I went back to my parents place and Maria went to a fellow Filipino that lives down the road from us. I got Maria and Janitta to contact each other about a week ago just so Maria had someone to speak her native tongue too. I had gone to the the extent of going to the local coffee shop to ask the owners there if they knew any Filipinos in the area, this is where they gave me Janitta's number.They have spent a lot of time together the past few days and Janitta appears to be looking out for my wife, which is exactly what I wanted for her.
So last night we both get home and everything is fine, we even made love before we fell asleep. This morning we both wake up and go about making breakfast. By mid morning we are both sitting on the lounge watching TV. Its winter here and the weather is quite cold and it has been raining today which hasn't helped with either of our moods. I was watching the sports channel looking at all the tributes coming in for Muhammad Ali and generally catching up on the weekends sport. In a commercial break I got up and went outside for a smoke and came back in to find Maria changed the channel, I grabbed the remote and told her I was watching the other station and I changed the station back.
I can read my wife's face like a book, and her face turned into a big sooky lala face. My poor little wife didn't get to watch what she wanted to watch on TV. I couldn't reserve my anger when I saw this, I mean I'm at wits end, I have done all I can to make her happy! But you fucking can't make women fucking happy! They are a different breed to us men! I threw the remote near here and told her she could have the fucking remote then!
Whenever I raise my voice at my wife she does the worse thing she could possibly do, she gives me the silent treatment. She has done this since as long as I know her, and this just makes me worse!! I ended up yelling a few more obscenities before I tried to leave to my parents place. Typical of us men, we feel we have to leave our own fucking home!
So I went to drive to my parents place to get some air since I have given up drinking and couldn't go to the pub to drink. ON my way there I noticed Mum driving in the opposite direction. I turned around thinking they were going to my place, but they drove right past the turn off.
When I got home I rang my parents looking to see where they were going. They were on their way to my brothers place and DAd had to get some blood tests. The next thing I know I get into a conversation with MUm and I start arguing with her! I've seriously had enough of women including my own mother.
Since my wife wasn't talking to me and my Mum was just arguing with me I decided to ring a Men's Line. You wouldn't believe it, a fucking woman answered!! So I take a breath and try to talk to her, the next thing you know she is accusing me of abusing my wife...
GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!!!!
I better stop typing before I break this fucking laptop!!!
I've given everything to my wife, I've made changes for her!! I've done all I can, if she don't like it...SHE can fuck off back to her own country and leave me the fuck alone!! She has her passport, she has a return ticket, see ya fucking later, cos I've had enough!!
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
I don't know that you'll like what I have to say but you should know that I say it because I care!!
Yelling obscenities, throwing the remote at her and storming out is abusive B and she may be afraid of you when you get like that... You were a boxer!!
I know you have done a lot for her but she has also left everything that she's known her whole life because she loves you.
If you like different programs buy a second hand TV...
I would take a deep breath the next time you get angry and if you're having trouble controlling yourself maybe some anger management??
This was how my Dad often acted only he would also become physically violent and I was so afraid of him ... Don't let this be how you start your marriage sweetie... It will go downhill if you do... Big hug......xo
I've settled since and my wife and I had a good chat last night which is what we needed.
Just had to get my thoughts out there.
Seems like simple stuff, but when arguments start gaining power that simple stuff gets lost.
I can only speak from my experience but it sounds like your wife is lonesome for her family. When you get angry and go home to your parents, that only makes her feel more alone. (Again, I am projecting my own marriage here. It may not even apply to you.) Could you take her with you to your parent's place? Help her become part of your family?
It's was very kind of you to help her find a friend. It's obvious you are helping her adjust to new surroundings. At some point she will have to find her own way and her own activities, something that will fulfill her and then she won't need so much reassurance from you. You need your alone time, too. We all do.
As for the remote, my husband can take a shower, go to town, mow the grass, take a nap and STILL expect the channel/remote to be where he left it. THEN say, "I was coming right back. I've only had the remote for 52 hours, what do you need it for anyway." Hahaha!! He controls the remote - I control the food. It all works out in the end.
Hang in there, B. Marriage is a constant compromise, even when you think you have done everything right.
Sorry if this sounds like another woman coming at you. It's coming from a woman who cares about you and wants the very best for you.