I'm sorry you thought you had a friend it is hard when things like that works out that way

You must educate yourself on the boundries of society otherwise you will continue to get hurt repeatedly.This forum is to discuss problems to do with bipolar and I imagined this is either your therapist or clinician so of course it jualifies.

Yes, please come here to vent and seek wisdom and support from others. The guidelines around clinical relationships like this are very clear (I'm in Australia but they would be basicsally the same anywhere). There can be no relationships of any kind - even platonic ones, outside the therapeutic consults and other communications such as email or phone depending on the policy of the individual mental health service. If the guy had accepted you on facebook and began a friendship of any kind, he could most likely have lost his license to practice..

But PLEASE do not be hard on yourself about this. This is a learning experience about appropriate boundaries - respecting the boundaries of others (either legal like this situation or emotional). It is also (this may sound strange) about learning to delay Instant Gratification, as in, hey, get online and make a request, but not stopping to think about it and using the HUGE value of a simple pause when we may make a differernt and maybe more prosuctive decision..

But can I tell you, I really relate to the liking a clinician. My current psychologist and the one before her had SO MUCH in common with me in terms of values, the approach to life, all sorts of things. I would have loved to have both those women as friends but unfortunately that can never happen.

Don't be hard on yourself over this. You tried but you don't control what other people do so accept that and move on to the next friend.

Haha that sounds like a mistake I would mAke. I'm pretty naive like that. But I never thought to look them up on
facebook.
Can you befreind an old tdoc one you don't see anymore. If so how long do you have to wait ?

I did the same thing! Sorta. I didn't have a facebook but I did call my therapist after not talking to her for a few years and just kinda invited her out to lunch. I didn't want therapy, I wanted to just hang out with her 'cause she's so freakin' cool! Well, needless to say, she said, "Why don't you come in for a session?" I did. She's not as cool as I remembered :x lol

This is a honest mistake. It's easy to forget about those social boundaries and what not when you get excited about making a new friend. I'm sorry, though, I can imagine the embarrassment, sadness and frustration this has brought.

Haha she's not as cool as I remebered. That made me laugh.

There are ethical and legal restraints that forbid personal relationships beyond the doctor/patient relationship. Actually it is for the protection of patients~~it doesn't mean your doctor might not share your opinion that you could potentially be great friends . . . if you had met under different circumstances. It does means that the doctor is required to keep the relationship professional or otherwise risk the loss of his integrity and his right to practice medicine. :)

you're lucky the doc had ethics; some don't and they hurt their patients badly.
like someone else here said, don't be hard on yourself. You just got vulnerable. Forgive yourself and move on.

I never realized it was for my protection.

Wow, Thank you guys - All of your replies have made things so much clearer and made me feel so much better!! It's really helped so much!! And thanks for the hug suuferjet! :D

i am sorry this happened to you, sometimes it's easy to forget that your relationship with your therapist is strictly a professional one

He was just being professional.

I'm sorry about your disappointment.

If it helps, it is really hard to erase lines of leader and learner or in your case patient. When I started teaching, I was only a few years older than many of my students. There was a line drawn thick and in bold blocks that will forever keep former students viewed as my kids to me.

Even now that we are all adults and I'm forty and they are possibly 38, they are and will forever be seen as my former students. I enjoy talking to them and sharing parts of my life-general stuff, but once that line is drawn for me it can't be erased.

I'm guessing a pdoc/tdoc and patient lines are similar.

I have known of lines being erased in both of the cases above and I don't think it ever works out good for the student or patient. They seem to always have that authority figure problem.

I know of a teacher who started dating his student the day after she graduated. They are married, but I think he always had the upper hand.

I know of a pdoc who married a client. The pdoc takes good care of their spouse, but a lot of freedoms we have like smoking or diet are heavily monitored by the pdoc spouse. Everything for this person must be cleared by the spouse.

I don't think I would want to be married to a pdoc.

I'm sure it is possible to be friends-even close friends with someone who had authority over you or you had over them, but it must be difficult.

In other words it wasn't you it was the situation. I'm sorry you are hurting.

Plus when you think about it he knows a lot about you,but you don't know equally about him.

I got too attached to my first therapist. When my husband suggested a new therapist, my old therapist and I took it very hard like we were being torn apart. He did some very bizarre things like not wanting to release my files, continuing to receive and give emails, and accepting a gift from me. I found out later all of these were against that company's policy.

It was my first time in that position and I didn't know then that we will spin through so many different pdocs and tdocs that it is best not to get attached.

Good luck to you,
Tamara

inevitable, sorry.