Life is a learning experience and it's not always a consistent process. The main thing is to take care not to do any harm to yourself or others.

tryin no to man its just hard

It sure is hard but we only have to do a bit at a time. One of my first doctors told me I didn't have to do it all by myself and that's a good thing to know.

Sorry you are struggling....I know it can be very tough and we have all fallen off that wagon before. Pull yourself up and put the booze down push that start over button and don't look back beating yourself up!!!

Every new day we can make the choice to do or not to do something.....sounds like you aren't supposed to be drinking so make the choice not to drink and just remember how shitty you feel the next day ya know?? Nobody said it was easy but we all have a choice!

Best of luck to ya! ox

Jesse - have you considered getting separate help for the drinking problem? I know you have lots on your plate, and if you are medicated, then alcohol should definitely be off the list. I know it messes me up when I rarely decide to have a glass of wine with dinner.

But I'm lucky, because I can easily walk away from the alcohol and don't have the urges that you do. Perhaps the alcohol is separate (even if the catalyst is the same) from your other problems, though when mixed together, they certainly join forces to make things a mess, don't they?

The alcohol is bad for YOU, even more than other people. And if you can't control the urges on your own, you may have to seek help, even if its going to AA meetings or something like it.

NONE OF WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS EASY! I wish I could say it was, sweetheart. And the reasons you drink may be closely tied to some of the causes of your mental and chemical illnesses.

I know there are medications that make alcohol taste bad and/or make it not "satisfy" you. But I don't know how these meds will combine with what you are currently on. I suggest you speak to your pdoc to ask, at the very least. Discuss the problem with him/her and see what they suggest for you.

I wish you great success and happiness and luck with this, sweet boy and know that you can conquer this particular demon that has its hold on you.

GO FORTH WITH STRENGTH AND CONFIDENCE! And know that we are all behind you and here for you at every step!
-c

Maybe you're an alcoholic.
Maybe you're self-medicating.

If nothing else, you're a problem drinker.

I know whereof I speak.
I'M an alcoholic!!!
Or maybe just a drunk.

(As the late comedian Robin Harris used to say, 'I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a drunk. Alcoholics got to go to those damn meetings!')

Sigh.
I don't know what to tell you really, except to keep trying.
Try AA, if you haven't already!!!
(I tried it, but it wasn't the right way, for me.)

Try a change in meds -- maybe.
As hard as it is to resist drinking, it was easier for me once I was properly medicated.

Mostly, what worked for me was to keep trying to quit, over and over and over again and again until it finally 'took'.
And there's no guarantee that it will stick, either.

I drank when I was younger, stopped for over 15 years and then, when I became Bipolar but didn't realize what was happening, I started up again. (Smoking, too!!)

Bleh. That went on for a few years. (Is five years a 'few'?)

Every day I would wake up, feel disgusted that I had drank the night before, swear that I wasn't going to do it again and then, as soon as my 'have to' stuff of the day was done, I'd head for the liquor store.

'Just one more night and then I'll quit.'

I didn't even try to kid myself that I was just going to have one or two drinks.

That's not how I roll!!!!!

One sip and I drink till I black out, drink during the black out and just keep going until I pass out.

I have high anxiety. And nothing worked better than alcohol when it came to making it go away.
Unfortunately, it made it come back all the harder, the next day.
Vicious circle.

As Homer Simpson says, 'To alcohol!!! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!!!'

But just as I had quit for 15 years, I have once again stopped, at least for now. I think it's 5 or 6 years now.
And hopefully it will be forever.

Just keep trying -- and try to utilize every sort of regimen out there!!
What about Antabuse or other drugs that keep you from drinking by making you as sick as a dog, if you do?

How about therapy!!!? If there are problems in your life that you are having trouble dealing with and manage to work them out, there may be less need to use alcohol to numb the feelings that are too hard to deal with right now.

Good luck to you!!!
Having trouble stopping drinking is a real bitch.
I hope you lick it.

(((((Hugs)))))

Stop beating yourself up. And of course it's difficult. Booze is EVERYWHERE. The thing is once you've decided enough is enough you'll be headed in the right direction. HANG IN THERE!!!

Great big hug of comfort for you sweetie..
Stopping drinking can be really hard for people as it's not always just the booze but the whole social situation
Do you think a support group like AA might be something you can get into?
It's done now so don't beat yourself up.. It does no good and today is a new day...
Perhaps it's something you should discuss with your doctor...xo

HUGS

sorry you're struggling with the bottle.

one day at a time man. hang in there, and don't kick the hell out of yourself for having a setback.

That's tough. It's hard not to self-medicate. Just think of all the people who don't even have the troubles we have who drink too much.

I agree that you shouldn't beat yourself up. Everyone falls down once in a while. And beating yourself up starts a cycle that will make it more likely to drink again. Accept and move forward. Asking for help is a good step.