i have been doing well lately. i have been keeping a journal. making goals. and trying to understand the illness as it hits me. but today... today... my older brother is having friends over the house from college and they have all graduated since. it was my brothers birthday july 15th and they came to celebrate. my mom bought cases of beer for them to have while they are here. and i have taken advantage of this. from dinner time to late swim time to bed time i have snuck beers from the garage fridge .. maybe 4 or 5 or 6. i know i am not supposed to drink alcohol with my illness and i KNOW i am not supposed to drink alcohol in the house and i also know i am not supposed to drink because i am not 21. but i did anyway. and i am writing you all as i am a little tipsy and drunk. what was i thinking? i dono.. but my mom suspected it as i came into the TV room where she sat with my 9 year old sister. she asked me if i had drunken any "servesas" and i said no three times. she even said "last chance" and i again said no. now i'm in my room avoiding her and waiting until she goes to bed so she wont know. but i am afraid she already does. AH. have any of you experienced trouble with alcohol and the illness? let me know.
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