Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

8,884 Members
129,557 Posts
0 Online
Mental Health
/ Bipolar Disorder Support Group

OH GOD HELP ME!!!!!!!!

theloveisgone
theloveisgone
I just walked out on my boyfriend.... it's over and I feel so numb! Usually I'd be crying hysterically right now but not even a tear has dropped down my cheek. We've been planning on moving in together and we even looked at a place with his son today. Then tonight i was saying how spoiled his son was (not in a bratty way just privileged) apparently he did not like this. There was no yelling involved although i did slam the door on my way out. I'm really confused about the whole situation. I've been realizing more and more that it wasn't gonna work out. he is 27 years my senior and no one really approves of me dating him and I've lost a lot of friends due to this fact. He is also very controlling and constantly thinks I'm cheating on him. Could he really not see this coming? why did i not see it before. I'm still waiting to find out whether or not he gave me HIV and i kinda feel he was just staying with me because he felt so guilty about it... I don't know! I still love him.. I'm still in love with him but i just don't think it could ever last. We are so different from each other and I rather be heart broken now than have to deal with it down the line when even more effort has been spent in maintaining a spiraling relationship. I'm worried that my BP may have caused this whole situation and i am afraid i might hurt myself... im just so fucking scared! Oh god if you are out there please help me!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sweetheart, why hurt yourself over a man who controls you and does not trust your soul. Why would you beat your dog because the neighbor's dog ruined your best roses? What I'm saying is there must be some pain when a relationship that isn't working ends. Yes, you do love him, but if he can't handle a comment you make regarding his son, what will he be like if you were to marry him. Put down the pills, the razor blade or bottle and stand up, look in the mirror and say to the future you, thank God I got away from him before he put me further into the darkness. Seems like the pain of staying with him is worse the pain you feel breaking it off. I hope you understand my bluntness but you are worthwhile. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. :)
Shelly4
Shelly4
Sweetie, you have a lot of things going through your head right now and none of them are positive. I would "try" to get a good nights sleep. When you are fresh in the morning, make a list of pro's and con's. Figure out what it is you love about this man and make sure you could live with those things that threaten your individuality.

Causing yourself pain will NOT answer any of your questions or solve your problems, it will only create new ones. Take some deep breaths, turn on some soft music and meditate, relax. Trust yourself...xo
deleted_user
deleted_user
It sounds like your head know this was not the relationship for you, and you've gotten it over with. Give yourelf some time for the emotions to catch up with the loss, cuz even if it's a good loss it's still a loss. It's ok that you don't feel anything about it right now. I agree, try to get some sleep. You will get through this.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hey, M - these guys have given you great advice...hope you are holding on right now, since it's already almost 7AM here...

You've Got to be in pain over this, I know. Breaking up Hurts, no matter the guy and no matter the reason.

Step back, as Shelly says...do you think you really "love" him, or do you love Being with someone, and he is someone you have become comfortable with? Have you truly been "in love", or just "in love" with the Idea of being in love?

It's just as easy to call that "love", but you are not getting what you really need.

You are Strong, M, though it's easy to be weak when the snowball becomes an avalanche.

What we can do is Be here, and we will be. Bipolar is always there, but it's only part of the equation.

If this is what it is, though, M, where will you go now? What will you do? Will you be able to stay where you are for now, or possibly at your parents' house?

BIG hugs -
deleted_user
deleted_user
Please dont hurt yourself. Nobody is worth that. Can you talk to someone who isnt involved in the situation and get an honest opinion? Are you med compliant? I know you are scared, but try to reach out for help. You dont have to deal with this alone. If there isnt anyone than keep posting here. You'll get some good advice. I hope to see you on the main board. The best to you.
theloveisgone
theloveisgone
Thank you all for your feedback and concern. Put your mind at ease I did not hurt myself. A night full of tears and bad dreams has made today all the much brighter.
deleted_user
deleted_user
This is NOT your fault. Just because we are bipolar doesn't mean we cause all of the problems with our relationships.

Thank God you got away from that controlling SOB!

I've found something out- when a majority of friends/family disapprove, there's usually a good reason (though there are always exceptions...). They know you best and already care about you.

*hugs* You'll always have an ear here!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am a guy that is 49 years old, and your very lovely, but we would have very little in common. I have dated women like 10 years younger and that was ok but not much more.

I have to wonder about him a lot. I know you love him, but there is a lot of love out there that you can have. I would follow your friends advice and find someone closer to your age. Honestly it makes a difference. Also who wants to have the hurt of breaking up? if you know it's bound to happen, thats terrible for both of you.

hey also.. I lived in Alemida as a child lol sorry had to add that. I love that park with the train if it's still there.

Love and happiness, Erick
deleted_user
deleted_user
tanke care, honey and know we are here for you
Tirian
Tirian
yep sleep.
and i would highly suggest finding one of those friends ..and let them help you.
this doesnt really sound like BP to me.
trust me i have been there.
please keep safe.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your BP may intensify the way you are feeling now but I don't think it caused the break up. From what you said, there are a lot of red flags in the relationship and I think you're very smart to get out of it now. Guys like this generally don't get better as time passes. It's my experience that they get worse. Hang in there and know you did the right thing!