we all go thru that questioning why. but we'll never get an answer i dont think.

i know what you mean about being able to work, take care of kids, and have a social life. all that's gone for me, except taking care of my kids.

wish i could answer your question.

I do know what you mean Hanna. It is very difficult to work through the stages of acceptance of this disorder. Accepting the disorder doesnt mean you have to give up anything forever. Thinking back at your age, I was married and I had a 1 year old. I was a mess emotionally and when I opened my eyes each morning I had no idea how I was going to make it through the day let alone go to work. I did it one step at a time.

As I look back now it amazes me at the things I have accomplished based on how I started out with all of this. It is a one day at a time experience sweetie. As long as you are doing all you can to be your best, you will gradually move forward.

I know your job stresses you out and maybe for now, if you can, it would be best not to work. When you get stable and feel better, you can try again. Take the time to work on you and learning coping skills to help you get through life with this disorder. Have you ever taken, practiced CBT, DBT, EFT? All of those are helpful in many ways.

What I know to be true for me is that if I give up too much than I wont go back. Its like working out every day and suddenly missing a few days, it makes it all the more difficult to return to it. Well, everything in my life is like that so I do my darndest not to give up. For some, they can take a break, get better, and go back later. Maybe that is how it is for you. You need a break, time to work on you, then you can return later.

Dont be too hard on yourself, you have accomplished alot and you need to do what works for you to nurture your spirit within. Hugs

Oh, and so that you know, I did not work for a period of about 12 years when I stayed home to raise our four boys. During that time, though, I volunteered wherever I could in my church, at shelters, on committees. I took some classes, I did CBT, DBT, EFT, I learned arts, crafts, hobbies etc. Just because you dont work, does not mean you cannot develope yourself in other ways that are less stressful for you.

When I became stronger, and the time came, I started my own business. It was slow at first and has picked up alot. The beauty of that is that I am my own boss, set my own hours, and can work or not work if I like. I started out by cleaning other people houses for money for several years. I made alot of tax free money. I parlayed that into an organizational business. I no longer clean but do help my friends that clean houses when they need the help.....here you can make $25 an hour cleaning which isnt bad money at all. In the business I have now, I net about $40 an hour and I can accept or deny any client I wish based on the job.

Please dont think that your life is over, It is not. Learn what you can and cant handle but dont give up. Where you cant do one thing, you can do another in the meantime and still move forward. Hugs