I've lived most of my life in a hypomanic or high state, it's what I am used to, I functioned quite well for many, many years that way. I was productive, whatever I set my mind up to do I did it......but the let downs I didn't take too kindly too, they would hit me like a ton of bricks and I would dwell over those let down for longer than normal periods of time, typical behavior among bipolars, or so I have been told.

I'm also a rapid cycler so I am up one day down the next and could really use some encouragement. Today I feel very tired, the only thing I really look forward to is sleeping at night because then I don't have to think about anything. I feel as though life has let me down in a huge way.....I am tearful, feeling hopeless, ugly and just plain shitty. I try to make my gratitude list each morning and look at the things I do have but I just feel so pathetic.

I have to talk to my therapist about what it is I am supposed to do when I am not feeling hypomanic because when I'm not hypo I'm just not happy....there is no inbetween it's hypo or nothing. wth?? Do any of you live like this too?? I know the routine push through it'll pass...any other suggestions?? I sure could use some here...thanks for reading.