Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I've been dealing with some major issues. I'm pretty sure I'm having a mixed episode with some paranoia and psychosis coming along nicely as well. My therapist saw me yesterday and wanted to speak with my psychiatrist. They are both concerned but want me to be seen at the office before adding anything to my Depakote. My next appointment with the psychiatrist isn't until November 5th. His next emergency appointment isn't for another 2 weeks. My therapist called and said there were two cancellations for tomorrow if I could get a ride in.
I'm unable to drive and Medicaid transport requires 5 days notice so I called my dad. I said that I was wondering if he had plans tomorrow and I was wondering if it might be possible for him to give me a ride to an appointment tomorrow if I'm able to get one. (I didn't specify where the appointment was but I never call to ask for a ride anywhere unless it's really important because I hate to ask.) He let out an impatient sigh and snapped at me "WELL, where do you need to go?! I DO have plans for tomorrow." I told him never mind if he wasn't able to do it. He got this extremely nasty attitude and started yelling at me that I was being deliberately vague and rude. He was yelling right over top of me so that I couldn't even say anything. It got me so upset I just had to hang up, I couldn't deal with it right now. I just finished crying my eyes out about it and he called and left a message saying he will take me if I can get an appointment, he has plans but he'll take me if I need to go somewhere.
I don't want his help if that's how he's going to make me feel that way about needing a ride. I'm nothing but a pain in the ass inconvenience to my whole family. I know I should call and see if I can get into one of those appointments for tomorrow because I need it badly but I just can't bring myself to do it after all that. Right now I feel more depressed than anything else. My family hates me. I hate me. I wish I could just fall off the face of the earth right now. I don't want to be messed up. I'm trying to work on not being messed up. Why are some people so incredibly hurtful and unsupportive, especially family?
I'm unable to drive and Medicaid transport requires 5 days notice so I called my dad. I said that I was wondering if he had plans tomorrow and I was wondering if it might be possible for him to give me a ride to an appointment tomorrow if I'm able to get one. (I didn't specify where the appointment was but I never call to ask for a ride anywhere unless it's really important because I hate to ask.) He let out an impatient sigh and snapped at me "WELL, where do you need to go?! I DO have plans for tomorrow." I told him never mind if he wasn't able to do it. He got this extremely nasty attitude and started yelling at me that I was being deliberately vague and rude. He was yelling right over top of me so that I couldn't even say anything. It got me so upset I just had to hang up, I couldn't deal with it right now. I just finished crying my eyes out about it and he called and left a message saying he will take me if I can get an appointment, he has plans but he'll take me if I need to go somewhere.
I don't want his help if that's how he's going to make me feel that way about needing a ride. I'm nothing but a pain in the ass inconvenience to my whole family. I know I should call and see if I can get into one of those appointments for tomorrow because I need it badly but I just can't bring myself to do it after all that. Right now I feel more depressed than anything else. My family hates me. I hate me. I wish I could just fall off the face of the earth right now. I don't want to be messed up. I'm trying to work on not being messed up. Why are some people so incredibly hurtful and unsupportive, especially family?
I am all too familiar with the unsupporitive family. Is there anyway you could call the hospital/clinic and explain to them that you need an appt desperately, but can't get transport and see if they can help you.
Maybe, you could get a cab there and get it reimbursed. Try a few friends or acquaintances, whatever.
You conversation with your dad reminds me of my first pdoc visit (when i was 14 years old). No one in my family would take me. My high school guidance counsellor stepped in and drove me two hours away.
I don't have any friends to call for a ride. The only money I have is about two bucks in quarters in my pocket so I couldn't pay them and get reimbursed. Both good ideas though.
I hate self pity but right now I almost feel like I would be happy if I totally lost it, maybe then someone would be bothered to remember me. I can almost guarantee that his all important plans that I would be interrupting tomorrow are going hunting. I think I'm just going to wait the two weeks and hope for the best. Putting up with my dad just isn't worth getting in there any earlier. It just hurts to think that he doesn't care. He didn't even bother to ask what would be so important that I could get a next day appointment somewhere. No doctors office gets you in same day or next day unless you have something unusual going on.
(((((hugs)))))
Andrea