This is my first blogging entry.
I am diagnosed with Bipolar II. I have been suffering for some time. I feel unheard and not supported. I have a therapist and psychiatrist. My therapist is new and my psychiatrist doesn't listen to me. I was told that I am currently in a hypo manic episode. What does that mean? Does this happen to anyone else?
This morning and yesterday I had a huge crying episode. I am very depressed and see no positives.
I "function" because I have to. I would rather do nothing and sleep.
I put on a positive front for my coworkers, boss and family. I don't share my pain. I smile in front of others. The only person that sees my truth is my spouse. I just feel like she doesn't really understand. She doesn't know how to deal with me.
I am tired of pretending. I am exhausted from the thoughts that run through my head all day long. I hold in my feelings until I explode in anger.
I become annoyed very easily and have no patience.
I want to have peace and have a steady emotional pace. I don't want to be on a roller coaster ride.
Thanks for letting me share. I hope I did not trigger anyone.
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