Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Hello,
I am new to this site. In fact, I am new to any support group. I've been going at this alone forever. I'm 51 years old and have had mental health issues for as long as I can remember. I never understood why I was the way that I am, until my formal diagnosis when I was around 32?? It was actually a relief, I could stop hating and blaming myself for just being a horrible mistake of nature and should have never been born.
I have had so many challenges in my life that being Bipolar made it even worse.
I lost my mom in 2004, went through a horrible divorce in 2009, lost my dear sister in 2012, lost my dad in 2014. (along with many other long stories).
Also my son was diagnosed with autism at the age of 3 (22 years ago). As hard as it was, in a way it saved my life. I could (and can) never give up and end my suffering because he needed/needs me. I worked my ass off for this boy. Bound and determined to prove everyone wrong and ensure he has a happy successful life. He graduated from college with a Bachelors in Engineering Technology in December 2017. I worked feverishly on getting him his license this Spring (I swear I thought it'd kill me! lol) Now we are working on a huge milestone of finding him a job in his field. It has been very difficult, frustrating, depressing, hopeless...
Add issues with my second husband and daughter issues, I am on the edge.
I'm in a very bad place right now, self destructing.
I honestly don't know how I will survive this. There are so many things going on in my life that would make a "normal" person depressed and feel defeated. But for me, it is hell on earth.
Don't know what to ask help with because there is so much.
Right now I'm just reading your posts to make myself know that I am not alone. Because I have felt so alone for so long.
My dog is telling (barking) me that it is dinner time. So for now I will end it with that.
Thank you for listening (reading)
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
Yeah, can't remember a time my plate wasn't too full.
Sitting her job searching for my son right now. He said he is looking, but I really don't think he is looking that hard. He is working (way underemployed) as a dishwasher right now so I think he is happy to just have a routine and some money other than what I was giving him. He is so sweet and sensitive I try to encourage him but not be too pushy and bossy. I typed out a living expenses list to try and make him understand he doesn't make nearly enough if he were to be independent living somewhere. His student loan payment is $537! Can you imagine!? I haven't shown him yet because of how bad of shape I've been this week.
His predicament right now is the major factor in my current depressive state. If I could only get him situated I would feel better. I feel like a failure right now. His well-being and success is dependent on my guidance. My brain has been malfunctioning lately so I haven't been working at is as much as I should. Sure would be helpful if his dad did something to assist us (he never has).
I need a medication change, that would help. I also need to be consistent on going to the gym because of how helpful it is with my brain chemistry. Along with stop drinking (self-medicating) because I know it just messes up my brain even more.
Are you on any other support sites that you could recommend?
Thank you, just rambled on again. Sorry
A big factor with the terrible state I am in right now is because I am not doing what I know I'm supposed to for my illness. I need to exercise and eat health and drink green tea like I was because it helps a lot. I need to stop trying to numb my pain with alcohol because it makes it much worse. I need to be put on some other medication. I have been on Lamotrigene for a decade and it's just not cutting it anymore.
I appreciate your kinds words, and I know I will begin feeling better by being on DS and finally have contact with others like me.
You do have a lot of your plate. I’m sorry to hear the struggles you are experiencing. I do see a therapist to check in with when I can (every two weeks right now) to help me sort out all the overwhelmingly complicated things. I know not everyone can afford therapy....I can only afford it bc I have health insurance (for now anyway) and my therapist has worked with me to offer a payment plan that I can afford. Therapy was monumental in helping me sort through the mountain of things. Plus there are group therapy type support groups where you can learn specific skills. Again, finances are part of the stress....believe me, I understand.
I am thinking maybe it could also be helpful to connect with other parents of autistic children, even though your son is grown it still may be beneficial to others to simply share stories of experience.
Please stay strong. For me, when I get overwhelmed, it helps to remember that there are a LOT of caring people in the world despite what it may seem some days. Reaching out is a hard thing to do sometimes but it helps break down things into baby steps....
Wishing you well.
I'm in a pretty bad place myself right now. Stuck in a mixed state hell with bad anxiety. Some days are better than others.
On the bad days all I can do is rely on loved ones to reel me back to earth and take alot of me time to zone out with netflix, sometimes just managing to breathe that day is an accomplishment. You have to take comfort and pride in the strength you really do have even when you feel out of control and weak.
We are surviving this right now. There will be better days.
I'm feeling better today because I forced myself to get moving (after 2 hours of being frozen/stuck in my own mind). It's so hard to find the will to get back up again.
It's a nice day (so far rain is coming) so the sunshine helps.
Took my baby girl Muffin (Pomeranian) for a walk - which is 95% pushing her in the dog stroller. Yes, people think I'm a goofball but I don't care lol
Then went for a ride on my Yamaha Vino which is also a good mind clearing thing for my BP.
Actually did a few chores today too.
Going to a paper wreath class tonight with my sister-in-law and niece. So that helps too.
Everyone hang in there because you're right, there are better days.
xo