Recently, all the feelings and mood swings that I have been feeling forever have been worse than ever for the past year or so, and I finally went to a psychiatrist. My therapist and I agreed I had cyclothymia, and the psychiatrist agreed. After having an intense depressive episode, I started lamictal, a mood stabilizer. A week in, when it was starting to kick in and my hopes were up, I developed an intense rash, a rare side effect. I had to stop the drug immediately, obviously, and quickly entered a period of hypomania. Now, a few days later, I feel myself sinking back into a depressive state and I feel so lost. I know that drugs are difficult and its hard to find one that works, but I had so much hope and I have never felt this bad. I just want to feel functional and normal and not as if my whole life can change at the drop of a hat. I am so sick of these mood swings and I want to have hope again but its so hard. The past few days I have felt so good and like I was going to be okay, that the future was bright. And now, I am losing the hypomania and I feel like I'll never feel better again. I came to find a support group because I have realized since I went to my psychiatrist for the first time that although my friends have loads of sympathy and many struggle with depression, none of them understand the hypomania or the rapid cycling. To be fair, my mood swings shock me, and I can't imagine trying to understand it if I had never experienced it myself. I think I just need some words of wisdom if any of you have been struggling with this or experiencing this for longer. I feel so lost and confused.