Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
this board is a place for those of us who have had a tough day or a frustrating experience to let it out.
PLEASE NOTE that you are still bound by our terms of service. PERSONAL ATTACKS of any kind are not acceptable.
PLEASE NOTE that you are still bound by our terms of service. PERSONAL ATTACKS of any kind are not acceptable.
SO MUCH BETTER!!!
As some you know, my 20 yr. old daughter, who is BP, is in the hospital for 2nd time this month. She has been with her BF for 5 years. They have lived together for nearly 3 of those years (incl. her senior yr. of HS) She has always been very responsible financially, etc., and worked full time at a bank. He is a plumbing apprentice and makes decent money for a 22 yr old guy. She has been responsible for all domestic tasks such as paying bills, cleaning, cooking, laundry, babying him, etc.
She has been too sick, emotionally and physically the past 2 month to be up to doing the housework. She has kept up paying the bills on time, although for the 1st time in 4 years he has had to actually deposit his own check lately. I have been helping out with laundry, etc. and stopping by the apt. a couple times a week to get laundry and do dishes, etc. I dont mind helping, but BF actually think it is my responsibility to pick up the slack and do the things she cant do, because Im her mother! (His parents are on a 2 month cruise to Australia and New Zealand, coming back this week. I am sure his mother has not washed his underwear in 5 years!)
This latest hospitalization all she can express is that she just cant do it anymore. She cant do life. Its too overwhelming. He claims its not important to him that she do these things (as long as Im doing them, I guess!) but she just cant stand the thought of going back to the apt. like it is.
I want her to come back to stay at my house for a while when she gets out, she needs a little taking care of, until she is stronger. I also think she needs a break from the stressful aspects of their relationship. I am not telling her not to see him. He can come every evening and have dinner, or take her out, like they are dating. But I do not want (not will my husband allow) him to come live with us too. They argue constantly, its very tense. Now, when they argue, he calls me (nightly) to referee, and if I dont happen to see his side, then he says *your as sick as she is!* So, I dont want to referee in my own house. It is a 3 bedroom ranch with 1 small bathroom. We also have a 5 year old daughter who I dont want exposed to this stress.
He basically wants a me to Mommy him too. His own family is extremely dysfunctional. They have money, but they all have mental illnesses that they self medicate with alcohol and pot. He smokes pot like, all day long, another reason his living here would not work.
My daughter wants to come here, does not want to go back to the messy apt. (the mess is basically HIS clothes all over the floor, inside out. She and I already went through her clothes and got rid of tons. He has more clothes than you can imagine. 25 pairs of jeans, ripped and dirty, 30 pairs of underwear, etc.)
As much as she wants to come here, she says she doesnt think she can be away from BF. (I said he could visit nightly) She wants him to be able to at least stay one weekend night. We gave in on that. She is convinced he is too scared to stay alone at night much longer.(I thought it was her imagination, until last night on the phone, when he told me he was afraid of ghosts! LOL) I asked him to fill one garbage bag a night with clothes he is willing to get rid of. He cant even do that, yet he wants me to to a clean sweep of the apt. so she will want to come back. He refuses to tell his family that she is in the hospital. He is embarrassed and says they will think he is an idiot for staying with her. (He thinks he deserves an award I think)
I believe coming home for a few weeks is my daughters best chance to get back on her feet, but I am afraid she wont do it without him literally sleeping here too, and that just cant happen. My husband wont allow it, for MY sanitys sake.
If she goes back to the same old, same old, the same pattern is going to happen again.
I dont know what to do.
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh