Part XII (b) Its been a few days since I wrote this entry about finding a permanent residence, and I still don't know what to do, its driving me insane! With my original entry I came to some conclusions that's not entirely true. I do have enough money in the bank to get Maria and I started in Australia. And if ll goes well and we look after each other, there really shouldn't be a problem in both of us finding jobs or a place to stay. It just means we will have to be committed to our goal of making a life in Australia.

Here in the Philippines I don't have to worry about affording my bad habits, and at the end of the day if I quit smoking this should help towards our budget if we were to live in Australia. Am I afraid of making sacrifices? Have I been in a comfort zone for too long? Have I really gotten lazy and don't want to work?...If so what does that say about me, who have I become.

When I was young I would never back down from a challenge. I mean this is an opportunity for my future family. It really isn't about me anymore. I've got to tell myself that. My family would have a much better life in Australia than in the Philippines, I know that.

Why do I hesitate to act?

Change is hard. Write down all the pros and cons and maybe that will help. Get the assistance of your wife in making this decision, if you haven't already.

No, I don't think you are lazy. It's hard to go back to work after being away from it for a while.

I'm sure you will make the right decision.

Thanks Becky

difficult - I've actually faced a similar decision in the past but other factors intervened

only advice is that I'd look to the future and that includes boring things like healthcare, security etc.

but I thought it was already settled because Maria wanted to stay near her family?

Can you have a temporary 'look see' and see what you think... Maybe commit for a year and rent to see what you think sweetie?

Yes I can Jan, but expenses as usual.

But I guess Maria will always be wondering if we don't go.

She has visitors visa already approved for 3 months, so basically we have that time to decide if we want to stay.

If we do stay in Australia I have to pay $7000 for a Marriage visa which will give Maria work rights.

Thats been my big delima, the cost of visas also.

Fuck it, I'm booking flights.

I don't know what to say except it is whatever is best for you.