Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I am in really bad shape right now. My head will just not stop. I am having such violent intrusive thoughts and hearing the voices constantly. The are telling me to cut, they are telling me to kill myself. I don't know where to turn or what to do. Going into the hospital is not an option right now. I have another week before I can even think about that. I have too many important appointments this week. I have to see the kidney doctor, have a CAT scan and go to therapy. I left a message for my therapist this afternoon and she never returned it. The crisis line was no help, just a lot of suggestions I have already tried. I am really thinking it would be best to let the voices win and end it all now. I am just so tired of finding myself back in this place with all this darkness around me and no way to get out of it. When is it OK to just say enough and let go?
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I find myself going places in the car and not wanting to get out of the car. I come back home and I don't want to get out of the car. I think it's the only time I spend reflecting. Chronic tiredness from Long Covid plus the immunosupressing meds for my Crohn's is slowing me down but everything just seems a massive effort. I am dealing with the paperwork following my father's death but it's not...
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Wow, it's the middle of the week already!Today is our 11 year anniversary, so we're going out to a nice dinner. I'm losing a lot of sleep these days, hence a wonky schedule and uncomfortable feelings. But I know it will pass, eventually.I hope all of you have a peaceful day, and may good things come your way!
I think you can spot the paradox there? Please go to hospital now.
I know about voices. I live when them and have all my life. At times they get really bad. I was on Risperdal as my latest med to control them but had to stop taking it because of my blood readings. Now the voices are back. I've learned to tone them down most of the time. You can, too. For me, it's music when no one is around or I need to be alone. I even sleep with music (when I try to sleep, I should say.) If you ever need to talk to someone, just message me. I will get back to you as soon as I can.
I know it's been awhile since you posted this so I hope things are better. If not, I'm here.