Part XVII...I quote Mike Myers character a lot when he played Austin "Danger" Powers in the self titled movie. There are a number of scenes and quotes that I find hilarious and use myself when I am joking around. Austin Powers was a secret agent in the 70's and a part time photographer. To quote his partner Mrs Kensington, she would say about him "Women wanted to be with him, and men wanted to be him". When his arch nemesis Dr Evil (also played by Mike Myers) escaped in a rocket ship and cryogenically froze himself, Austin also cryogenically froze himself as well, until a time when his arch nemesis should ever return. Late 90's arrive and Dr Evil came back, so they unfroze Austin as well. There were many scenes in Austin's "unfreezing" process some very funny, him bringing back to the modern world all the antics of someone who grew up in the 70's. There were also side effects to his unfreezing process one in which he had trouble controlling the volume of his voice.

I've given a light start to the topic of a problem I have, when upset or angry I shout very loudly. God has given me a very loud voice and when I shout it can be deafening.

When my adrenaline builds I become stronger, and louder, holding my fists by my sides, in a sense controlling myself not to lash out. My shouting is a release of that pressure.

What upsets me most about when I shout, people don't listen to the words I am saying, they are still struck by the shouting itself, not taking anything I am saying in at all, so really it is a waste of time.

Its an emotional thing, and I am just releasing the pressure that builds up within me.

I'm not proud to say but my wife has been on the receiving end of this. I need more control. A solution to this is to take more medication to relive the pressure I am under. Psychiatrists really believe they have a pill for everything and give the medication clever names to make that feel good. Answer me this, if a Psychiatrist offered you a "mood stabilizer" would you take it?

If the pill did in fact do this, I would be a better person. I have been on a "mood stabilizer" before, and doctors still recommend I go on them. The "mood stabilizer" of my choice is actual an ant-convulsion medication, with the active ingredient is Sodium Valproate and is given the generic name of Epilim. This medication was first diagnosed for people with Epilepsy to prevent them from having seizures. They found in a study that it actually caused the mood of the patients to stabilize and in fact feel better, an unexpected positive side effect to the medication. In finding this study to be true, Psychiatrists then started prescribing Epilim as a "mood stabilizer" too patients who were diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. Where anti-depressants were of no use for it would send these patients into mania, however Epilim, through their surveys, was proven to stabilize the mood, preventing both mania and depression, leveling out the emotions of the Bipolar patient.

I came across this drug many years ago, and it indeed helped the extremities of my condition, making me able to function and be a better person to be around. The only thing was, I felt I fell into a false world where I thought everything was ok. I didn't complain about much, my aggression had subsided, I was holding down a job, and just going about my day.

What it took away was my instinct of being able to avoid dangerous situations. I ended getting in trouble a few times, where I was at risk, and actually was harmed. I blame this on the medication, for I thought everything was alright, when indeed it wasn't.

Epilim is also toxic. Levels have to be tested, meaning frequent blood tests to check the levels are ok and not at a toxic level. I mean, does this sound healthy to you? Not to me.

I am in situations sometimes where I need my self survival instinct to kick in, to be aware of dangers that I may be faced with. I really can't take a medication that will put me in a situation where think everything is alright, then all of a sudden someone pulls a knife on me or something, and I don't have the flight, fight, or freeze instinct kick in. Like I said, I'd rather not get myself in that position at all. I'm not unbreakable, I'm not a super hero, I do not have super powers, I simply need to be careful, because otherwise I feel like I'm being careless.

But all this put aside, I may end up going down this path again of taking Epilim. Its something I will have to talk over with a Psychiatrist (something else I don't want to do) and my wife.

At the end of the day this is because I have a problem with CONTROLLING THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE!!!.

Ref: www.boxrep.blogspot.com