I saw my new p doc today ( I had to switch because my insurance changed) and I really felt comfortable with him. He spent an hour with me asking me questions and going over all the meds I had tried in the past. He concluded I was bi polar 2 and suggested I try depakote again along with my trazodone.

I had tried depakote a few months back but it made me really exhausted and my p doc didn't want that because he didn't want it to make struggling with POTS symptoms worse. This new p doc is going to start me out with the depakote sprinkles and then work me up gradually to a dose that works best for me.

I feel like he really listened to me when I was telling him how scared I am of meds after having my bad experience with lexapro and being med sensitive. He explained that with me only bring on trazodone to sleep and then being tried on different anti depressants like Elavil,doxepin,etc they were probably causing worse mania and agitation. He also said that when my past p docs were increasing my trazodone to try and help me sleep that the antidepressant effect of it might have been kicking in causing mania and worse insomnia. I always described it as my mind fighting the trazodone when that happened.

He said that I need to be on a mood stabilizer so I'm trying the lowest dose of depakote possible then I see him in 4 weeks. It was really nice night to have someone just write me a script and say "see you in 3 months". I'm trying to stay hopeful.