Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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ZanyBeeper 02/17/2010

I was just fine thirty minutes ago and then BLAM!! Now I feel as if I am in the depths of despair or maybe it is just the reality of the current situation finally coming to a head within me. I feel this sadness in the pit of my stomach. I am nauseous and have this feeling of impending doom. My heart aches.

My Tootie is laid up in the bed with a severe fracture. She has hurt a lot more today. I will have to watch her for signs of infection and such. She goes back to the doctor next Thursday. I assume he will unwrap the layers off of her leg to check it and either repad it or put a cast on it.

Physically, I need to be taken out back and shot. I know that is beginning to effect me mentally too.

I feel bad because I am not the mother that Dillon deserves. Big deal. I play with him. So what. Anybody could play with him and tickle him and make him laugh like I do. I change him. Big deal. Anybody could do that. I feed him. Anybody could do that. I am just not very effective in my life. That null and voids everything that I am.

Thanks for listening.

Love and Hugs,
Chelle

deleted_user 02/17/2010

I feel the same way, like I'm not a good enough mother. I do things anyone could do.. I feel like a failure with everything I do though.. I hate myself.

deleted_user 02/17/2010

I just commented on your journal entry...You are a good mom...you are everything he deserves and more. I hope someday you'll see yourself the way we do. You are a blessing to this board.

deleted_user 02/17/2010

Not feeling like a good enough mother is a sign you are a great mother.

I'm so sorry you are having a rough time. Sorry I have been gone and not around to support you. (((hugs)))

vickybea 02/17/2010

(((((hug))))) you're better than you think you are hun x

deleted_user 02/17/2010

Chelle, bipolar is feeding this and I know you understand this. You are not the awful person that bipolar is making you feel like. I understand where you are at and it's not a very nice place right now but things will get better.

You have the support of so many wonderful people and I am glad to see you leaning on us a bit. You are a fantastic mother Chelle no matter how you feel about yourself right now. It's cruel how these god damn moods drive and control our lives.

Luv ya Zane. xo

deleted_user 02/17/2010

*hugggggggggs*

deleted_user 02/17/2010

((((HUGS)))) You are a great Mom. I agree with what BPStorm said. If there is anything I can do to help you let me know. Bipolar lies to us.

CarlaBent 02/17/2010

No one else could do those things for Dillon with the amount of love that you do them with!!!!! That counts for everything!!!! (((((Hugs))))) I'm sorry that you are in such a place!!!! I hope your mood lifts soon!!!!!

ZanyBeeper 02/17/2010

I just remembered something. During the two nights when I was at the hospital with Tootie, Dillon cried. He missed me!! He hasn't had a crying spell since I came home. That must make me not so bad of a mom. I guess, with everything else weighing on my mind what with Tootie relying on me for so much care and seeing her suffer like she is, I was just picking on myself for every perceived wrong. Thanks for the wonderful support guys!!

Oh, and Stormy........I love you too brother.

jeansmind 02/17/2010

I'll be ok....Your a strong woman. But never feel like you cant turn to us for support....It's good that you do....Hugs! xoxo

deleted_user 02/17/2010

Hi Chelle, not everyone could be the mother you are to Dillon. Please dont give yourself a hard time.....I am sure that you are a wonderful mum and a very strong-minded person. I love kids, but I know for a fact that I wouldnt be able to take on the huge responsibility that comings with motherhood. Being a mum looks like one of the hardest but most rewarding things in life-and you are doing it Well!! :) Playing with him, making him happy, changing him and feeding him-are probably the four Most essential things in your boys life, and the fact that you are doing these things to the best of your ability is a big deal! Please see what a great mum you are.

Im proud of you!! :) (as I dont think I could cope with motherhood).
Big hugs *Contra * xx

Tirian 02/18/2010

but chelle your love , laughter and tickles mean far more to him than anyone elses ever could.
i think you need some time out..can he go to nursery for the day?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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