Honestly she's kind of flaky with making plans. She says she'll be here wednesday and take the metro, but I can't be sure of that, so I've made up my mind that I'm going to go there by myself even if she stands me up or can't get here.

But holy hell, she's an angel. And my crush. I'm so happy about this. I hate going to my sliding-scale psych clinic, but I'm not dreading it, now.

I have no idea whether kiersten (the intake lady who always does my intake there) is going to make me go back to CSU for a week because I actually did attempt, but I haven't seriously considered attempting since, except once or twice maybe, so I doubt it. I hope not.

If she does heavily recommend CSU, I won't wuss out. I'll go, it's not really a big deal or anything, it'd only be maybe a week, I just don't think it's..... very helpful in the long run, and the long run is what I need to improve.

But yea. Said friend's had experience with "the system" as we all affectionately *cough* refer to it, so, I'm more confident going in there with her to be honest about something that can have my rights taken away temporarily.

But as I've said, I need to be firm in demanding better help/care for myself, so I guess I'm going Wednesday or so regardless.

Thank you for all the kind thoughts. I dunno. If I seem spacey, it's because I am. There isn't much of an aftershock. It's just kind of, "What? I'm still here? Uh. Oh. Okay. That's that, I guess."

Hopefully Viewpoint gets more serious about helping me, I dunno. I'll do my part, but I can't control an entire team of professionals, so.

Again thanks for the wishes. I'm glad those of you who have attempted before, failed, and are thus still with us.